The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride quotes

105 total quotes (ID: 733)

Buttercup
Count Rugen
Fezzik
Grandpa
Inigo Montoya
Multiple Characters
Prince Humperdinck
Vizzini
Westley


[Westley rescues Buttercup from a pit of lightning sand]
Buttercup: [recovering] We'll never succeed — we may as well die here.
Westley: No. No. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurts. No problem. There's a popping sound preceding each, we can avoid that. Two, the Lightning Sand. But you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?
Westley: Rodents of Unusual Size? I think they don't exist. [an R.O.U.S. attacks him on cue.]


Buttercup: Oh, Westley, will you ever forgive me?
Westley: What hideous sin have you committed lately?
Buttercup: I got married. I didn't want to. It all happened so fast.
Westley: It never happened.
Buttercup: What?
Westley: It never happened.
Buttercup: But it did. I was there. This old man said, "Man and wife."
Westley: Did you say, "I do"?
Buttercup: [confused] No. We sort of skipped that part.
Westley: Then you're not married. If you didn't say it, you didn't do it.

[Westley is lying weak on the bed, having just been challenged by Prince Humperdinck.]
Humperdinck: To the death!
Westley: No! To the pain.
Humperdinck: [pauses] I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.
Humperdinck: [flinching angrily] That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won't be the last. "To the pain" means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Humperdinck: [losing his patience] And then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right—
Humperdinck: [exasperated] And then my ears, I understand! Let's get on with it—
Westley: WRONG! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Humperdinck: [pauses] I think you're bluffing.
Westley: It's possible, pig. I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. Then again, perhaps I have the strength after all. [standing slowly and holding out his sword] Drop. Your. Sword.

Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful!
Man in Black: Thank you. I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it. You are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I am not left-handed! [switches to fighting with his right hand]
[The two continue to fight, until the Man in Black is backed against the cliff edge]
Man in Black: You're amazing!
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after twenty years.
Man in Black: There's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Man in Black: I'm not left-handed either. [switches his sword to his right hand]

[to Fezzik] And YOU! Friendless. Brainless. Helpless. Hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed? In Greenland?!

Let me explain... No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marrying Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour, so all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the Princess, and make our escape after I kill Count Rugen.

[The Man in Black has just performed an impressive dismount from a parallel bar.]
Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Man in Black: No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know.
Man in Black: Get used to disappointment.
Inigo Montoya: [shrugs] Okay. [resumes fighting]

Do you know what that sound is, Highness? Those are the Shrieking Eels — if you don't believe me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh. If you swim back now, I promise, no harm will come to you. I doubt you will get such an offer from the Eels.

Old Woman: Your true love lives and you marry another — True love saved her in the Fire Swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that's what she is, the Queen of Refuse! So, bow down to her if you want. Bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo!

Fezzik: Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?
Man in Black: Oh no. It's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

[Westley and Buttercup finish tumbling down the hill.]
Westley: Can you move at all?
Buttercup: Move? You're alive. If you want, I could fly.
Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup: I will never doubt again.
Westley: There will never be a need.

Westley: Where am I?
Albino: [whispering harshly] THE PIT OF DESPAIR! DON'T EVEN THINK— [clears his throat and proceeds in a normal voice.] Don't even think about trying to escape.

[Fezzik, Inigo and Westley scare off Yellin's guards with an impressive display involving a holocaust cloak, then prevent Yellin from closing the portcullis at the castle gate.]
Westley: Give us the gate key.
Yellin: I have no gate key.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Yellin: [pulls out the key] Oh, you mean this gate key!

As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Well, really, that's all this is. Except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest — how do you feel?

Grandfather: They rode to freedom. And as dawn arose, Westley and Buttercup knew they were safe. A wave of love swept over them. And as they reached for each other... [closes the book]
Grandson: What? What?
Grandfather: Nah, it's kissing again. You don't want to hear it.
Granson: I don't mind so much.
Grandfather: Okay. [opens the book again] Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. [closes the book] The End.