Other quotes

Yen: [his only line in English] Where the **** you been?
Turk Malloy: I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period French.
(Playing a game of five-card draw poker)
Topher Grace: Fellas! Fellas! Check this... all... red!

Bartender: [over the noise in the background] How's the game going?
Rusty: Longest hour of my life.
Bartender: [not hearing him] What?
Rusty: I'm running away with your wife.
Bartender: Great! [grins and flashes Rusty a thumbs-up]

Danny: Now, they tell me I paid my debt to society.
Tess: Funny, I never got a check.

Rusty: You'd need at least a dozen guys doing a combination of cons.
Danny: Like what, do you think?
Rusty: Off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Boeski, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the biggest Ella Fitzgerald, ever.

Danny: You remember the day I went out for cigarettes and didn't come back? You must have noticed. [goes to sit down]
Tess: I don't smoke. Don't sit.

[last minute tips for Linus]
Rusty: Where you gonna put your hands?
[Linus places his hands on briefcase handle]
Rusty: No good.
[Linus touches his tie]
Rusty: Don't touch your tie. Look at me. Okay. I ask you a question, you have to think of the answer. Where do you look?
[Linus looks down]
Rusty: No good. You look down, they know you're lying. And up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances--
Livingston: Rus?
Rusty: Yeah?
Livingston: Come look at this?
Rusty: Sure.

Terry: [On the phone]Who the hell is this?
Rusty: The man who's robbing you.

[last lines]
[Danny has just gotten out of jail]
Danny: Hi.
Tess: Hi. We need to get Rusty a girl.
Rusty: There's a women's prison down the road.
Danny: [noticing Tess is wearing her wedding ring] You said that you sold this.
Tess: I said that.
Danny: Liar.
Tess: Thief.
[they kiss]

Rusty (As Danny walks out of prison in a tux) I hope to god you were the groom.
Danny (Looking at Rusty's outfit) Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back.

Rusty: You scared?
Linus: You suicidal?
Rusty: Only in the morning.

Danny: Does he make you laugh?
Tess: He doesn't make me cry.

Danny: Thirteen million and you drive this piece of shit cross country to pick me up?
Rusty: Blew it all on the suit.

Rusty: The Bellagio and the Mirage. These are Terry Benedict's places.
Danny: Yes they are. You think he'll mind?
Rusty: More than somewhat.

Danny: There's a ninety-five pound Chinese man with a hundred sixty million dollars behind this door.
Linus: Let's get him out.

Danny: It's never been tried.
Reuben: Ho, ho... "It's never been tried." Oh, it's been tried. A few guys even came close. You know the three most successful robberies in the history of Vegas?
[flashback - the gaming room at the Horseshow, in black-and-white]
Reuben: [voiceover] Number three, the Bronze Medal - pencil-neck grabs a lockbox at the Horseshoe...
[a man grabs a lockbox out of a guard's hand and runs for the door, and six guards instantly tackle him to the floor]
Reuben: He got two steps closer to the door than any living soul before him.

[cut to the present]
Reuben: Second most successful robbery...
[flashback - the gaming room at the Flamingo, in grainy color. A long-haired man is running for the door, clutching a bag]
Reuben: The Flamingo in '71. This guy actually tasted fresh oxygen before they grabbed him.
[the man gets within a few feet of the door, before a guard smashes him across the neck with a nightstick]
Reuben: Of course, he was breathing out of a hose for the next three weeks. Goddamn hippy.
[back to the present]
Reuben: And the *closest* any man has ever come to robbing a Las Vegas casino...
[flashback - outside Caesar's Palace, in color. A man runs out, hunched over an armful of cash, followed by three security guards]
Reuben: Was outside of Caesar's in '87. He came, he grabbed...
[the three guards shoot the thief in the back]
Reuben: They conquered.

[Basher's original plan for knocking out the casino's power has flopped]
Basher: Hang on a minute, hang on... we could use a pinch.
Danny: What's a "pinch"?
Basher: A pinch is a device which creates, like, a cardiac arrest for any broadband electrical circuitry. Better yet, a pinch is a bomb - now, but without the bomb. See, when a nuclear weapon detonates, it unleashes an electromagnetic pulse which shuts down any power source within its blast radius. Now that tends not to matter in most cases, because the nuclear weapon usually destroys anything you might need power for anyway. But see, a pinch creates a similar electromagnetic pulse, but without the fuss of mass destruction and death. So instead of Hiroshima, you'd be getting the seventeenth century.

Reuben: Look, we all go way back and uh, I owe you from the thing with the guy in the place and I'll never forget it.
Danny: That was our pleasure.
Rusty: I'd never been to Belize.

Danny: Why do they always paint hallways that color?
Rusty: They say taupe is very soothing.

Danny: Saul, are you sure you're ready to do this?
Saul: If you ever ask me that question again, Daniel, you will not wake up the following morning.
Danny: [to Reuben] He's ready.

Danny: Tess, you're doing a great job curating the museum, the Vermeer is quite good, simple, vibrant, but his work definitely fell off as he got older.
Tess: Remind you of anyone?
Danny: And I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now which one married his mistress?
Tess: Monet.
Danny: Right, and then Manet had syphilis.
Tess: They also painted occasionally.

Tess: You're a thief and a liar.
Danny: I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore.
Tess: Steal?
Danny: Lie.
Tess: I'm with someone who doesn't have to make that kind of distinction.
Danny: No, he's very clear on both.

Tess: You know what your problem is?
Danny: I only have one?

Rusty: Tell me this is not about her, or I am walking. I am walking off this job right now.
Danny: Who?
Rusty: Tess. Terry Benedict. Tell me this is not about screwing the guy who's screwing your wife.
Danny: Ex-wife.
Rusty: Tell me.
Danny: It's not about that.
[pause]
Danny: It's not entirely about that.
[Rusty turns away, furious.]
Danny: Russ, do you remember what we said back when we first got into this business. We said we were gonna play the game...
Danny, Rusty: Like we had nothing to lose.
Danny: Well, I lost something... I lost someone. That's why I'm here.
[long pause]
Rusty: Okay, here's the problem - now we're stealing two things. And when push comes to shove, and you can't have both, which are you gonna choose? And remember - Tess does not split eleven ways.

Reuben: What have you guys got against Terry Benedict?
Rusty: What do you have against him, that's the question.
Reuben: He torpedoed my casino, muscled me out. Now he's gonna blow it up next month to make way for some gaudy monstrosity! Don't think I don't see what you're doing.
Rusty: What are we doing, Reuben?
Reuben: If you're gonna steal from Terry Benedict, you'd better goddamn know. This sort of thing used to be civilized. You'd hit a guy, he'd whack you, done. But with Benedict... at the end of this, he'd better not know you're involved, not know your names, or think you're dead. Because he'll kill you, and then he'll go to work on you.

[masquerading as an A.T.F. agent, Rusty shoves Basher against a police car, pretending to search him.]
Rusty: [under his breath] Hey, Bash.
Basher: Hey, Russ.
Rusty: How fast can you put something together from what I just slipped you?
Basher: It's done.
[Rusty lifts up Basher, and they slowly leave the crime scene]
Basher: Hey, is Danny about?
Rusty: Yeah, he's waiting around the corner.
Basher: Oh, that's terrific! It will be nice working with proper villains again.
Officer: [shouting] Everybody down, now!
[they break into a run as explosions rock the crime scene]
Basher: Ha-ha-ha! They weren't expecting that shit!

Danny: Second task, power - on the night of the fight, we're gonna throw the switch on Sin City. Basher, it's your show.
Basher: You want broke, blind, or bedlam?
Danny: How about all three?
Basher: Right, it's done.

[while reconnoitering the casinos]
Virgil: [makes a note] He went in at 10:44.
Turk: 10:46, get a watch that works.
Virgil: Dude, you make me sick. It's 10:44.
Turk: 10:46.

Saul: Are you going to tell me? Or should I just say No and get it over with?
Rusty: Saul, you're the best there is. You're in Cooperstown. What do you want?
Saul: Nothing. I've got a duplex now, wall-to-wall, goldfish. I'm seeing a nice lady who works the "Unmentionables" counter at Macy's. I've changed.
Rusty: Guys like us don't change, Saul. We either stay sharp or we get sloppy, we don't change.
Saul: Quit conning me.

Basher: That poxy demo crew haven't used a coaxial feed to batten the main line, have they? Instead they've gone and nosed up the backup grid, nosed it right up!
Reuben: [to Livingston] Do you understand any of this?
Livingston: I'll explain later.

Topher Grace: Hey Rus, let me ask you a question. Are you incorporated? Well, if not you should really think about it, 'couse I was talking to my manager...
Rusty: Bernie?
Topher Grace: No, not Bernie, my business manager. You know what? They're both named Bernie. Anyway, he was saying that because what we do here is kind of like research for a future like gig or whatever. I can totally make it a tax write off. The only thing is, and this is like *his* thing and it's stupid, is I'd have to pay you by check.
[Rusty stops and looks at him]
Topher Grace: Or we could stick with the cash. [Rusty nods] You know what? Yeah, let's just stick with the cash.

[sitting in a surveillance van with two FBI agents]
FBI Man #2: Let's see if we can zoom in on that guy...
FBI Man #1: Yeah.
[he reaches for the camera controls]
Livingston: Don't - don't - d-don't... Don't touch that.
FBI Man #1: Why not?
Livingston: Uh, do you see me grabbing the gun out of your holster and just waving it around?
FBI Man #2: Hey, radio shack, relax, will ya?

[watching Linus trapped on the upper floor by security guards]
Virgil Malloy: Shouldn't someone help him?
Basher: Oh, that's a good idea, Albert. Let's hop out of the van and then we can all get nicked!

Rusty: Saul, turn that off, will you?
Saul: [in fake accent] I'll turn it off when I'm ready to...
Rusty: Saul!
Saul: [normal voice] It's off, it's off!

Rusty: [on Danny walking out of prison in a loosened black-tie suit] I hope you were the Groom.
Danny: [on Rusty's attire for picking him up from prison] Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back.

Turk: Watch it, bud.
Virgil: Who you calling bud, pal?
Turk: Who you calling pal, friend?
Virgil: Who you calling friend, jackass?
Turk: Don't call me a jackass.
Virgil: I just did call you a jackass!

Danny: [holds up a black wallet] Hello Linus. Whose is this?
Linus: Who are you?
Danny: A friend of Bobby Caldwell's.
[produces a plane ticket]
Danny: You're either in or you're out. Right now.
Linus: What is it?
Danny: It's a plane ticket. A job offer.
Linus: You're pretty trusting pretty fast.
Danny: Well Bobby has a lot of faith in you.
Linus: Fathers are like that. [pauses] Didn't he tell you? He didn't want me trading on his name.
Danny: Do this job and he'll be trading on yours.

[while they are watching a dozen Chinese acrobats at a circus]
Danny: Which one is the amazing Yen?
Rusty: The little Chinese guy.

[Shaking Billy Tim Denham's hand]
Frank: You have lovely hands. Do you moisturize?
Billy Tim Denham: I'm sorry?
Frank: You know, I've tried all sorts of moisturizers. I even went fragrance free for a whole year. Now my sister, she uses some kind of uh... uh... uh... uh... aloe vera with a little sunscreen in it, and ideally, we should all wear gloves when going to bed, but I found out that that creates a kind of an interference with my... social agenda, you know what I mean.

Rusty: Why do this?
Danny: Why not do it?
[Rusty shakes his head]
Danny: 'Cause yesterday I walked out of the joint after losing four years of my life and you're cold-decking "Teen Beat" cover boys. [pause] 'Cause the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes. The house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big, then you take the house.
[another pause]
Rusty: Been practicing this speech, haven't you?
Danny: Little bit. Did I rush it? Felt like I rushed it.
Rusty: No, it was good, I liked it. [elevator starts to close] The "Teen Beat" thing was harsh though.

Terry: I know everything that's happening in my hotels.
Danny: So I should put the towels back?

Tess: Danny was walking through the restaurant when he spotted me.
Terry: Is that right?
Danny: Yeah, imagine the odds.
Terry: "Of all the gin joints in all the world".

Rusty: God, I'm bored!
Danny: You look bored.
Rusty: I am bored!
[long pause]
Rusty: How was the clink? You get the cookies I sent?
Danny: Why do you think I came to see you first?

Saul: I have a question: Say we get into the cage, and through the security doors there and down the elevator we can't move, and past the guards with the guns, and into the vault we can't open...
Rusty: Without being seen by the cameras.
Danny: Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot to mention that.
Saul: Yeah well, say we do all that... uh... we're just supposed to walk out of there with a hundred and fifty million dollars in cash on us, without getting stopped?
[everyone looks at Danny]
Danny: Yeah.
Saul: Oh. Okay.

Linus: Smash and grab job, huh?
Rusty: Slightly more complicated than that.
Linus: Well, yeah.

Danny: You gotta walk before you crawl.
Rusty: Reverse that.

Rusty: What's with the orange?
Saul: My doctor says I need vitamins.
Rusty: So why don't you take vitamins?
Saul: You come here to give me a physical?

Parole Board Member #1: Mr Ocean, the purpose of this hearing is to determine, whether, if released, you are likely to break the law again. While this was your first conviction, you have been implicated, though never charged, in over a dozen other confidence tricks and frauds. What can you tell us about those?
Danny: As you say, ma'am, I was never charged.
Parole Board Member #2: Mr Ocean, what we're trying to find out is was there a reason you chose to commit this crime, or was there a reason you simply got caught this time.
Danny: My wife left me. I was upset. I fell into a self-destructive pattern.
Parole Board Member #3: If released, is it likely you'd fall back into a similar pattern?
Danny: She already left me once. I don't think she'd do it again just for kicks.

[discussing possible candidates for their crew]
Danny: Phil Turenteen...
Rusty: Dead.
Danny: No shit. On the job?
Rusty: Skin cancer.
Danny: You send flowers?
Rusty: Dated his wife for a while.

Reuben: You're Bobby Caldwell's kid. From Chicago. It's nice there, do you like it?
Linus: Yeah.
Reuben: That's wonderful. Now get in the goddamn house.

Danny: We'll need Saul.
Rusty: He won't do it. He got out of the game a year ago.
Danny: Religion?
Rusty: Ulcers.
Danny: ...You could ask him.
Rusty: Hey, I could ask him.

Shane West: Hit me.
Rusty: It's not blackjack.

[in a safe heist]
Basher: All right chaps. Hang on to your knickers.
[He triggers the bomb, and the safe door cracks open. Laughing, Basher dances into the vault - and the alarm goes off]
Basher: Oh leave it out! You tossers! You had one job to do!

Terry: All right. Now I have complied with your every request, would you agree?
Rusty: I would.
Terry: Good, 'cause now I have one of my own. Run and hide, asshole. Run and hide. If you should be picked up next week buying a hundred-thousand dollar sports car in Newport Beach, I am going to be supremely disappointed. Because I want my people to find you, and when they do, rest assured we are not going to hand you over to the police. So my advice to you again is this: run and hide. That is all that I ask.

Danny: All right.
[Bruiser punches Danny]
Danny: Ahh! Jesus, Bruiser, not until later!
Bruiser: Sorry Danny, I forgot.
Danny: It's all right. How's your wife?
Bruiser: Pregnant again.

[Yen practices the vault somersault]
Turk Malloy: Ten says he shorts it.
Frank, Livingston, Saul: Twenty!

[Yen does the real somersault]
Frank: Ten says he shorts it.
Livingston: No, no bet.

Virgil: Are you a man?
Turk: Yes, nineteen.
Virgil: Are you alive?
Turk: Yes, eighteen.
Virgil: Evel Knievel.
Turk: ...shit.

[teaching poker to young actors]
Rusty: Barry, your turn.
Barry Watson: Uh... four.
Rusty: You don't want four. You want to fold.
Barry Watson: I do? Is that a good thing?

Rusty: 'Wonder what Rueben'll say.
[Cut to Rueben]
Rueben: YOU'RE OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MINDS!

Danny: I'm not joking, Tess.
Tess: I'm not laughing, Danny.

Danny: Livingston, we're set.
Rusty: Livingston, we're set.
Livingston: Basher, we're set.
Basher: Hang on a minute chief.
Livingston: We don't have a minute, Yen's gonna suffocate.
Basher: Then you'd better leave off bothering me, don't you think?

Basher: Where we at boys?
Livingston: Pins and floor sensors now.
Basher: Blinder.

Shane West: Mr Ocean, what do you do? If you don't mind me asking.
Danny: I don't mind you asking, I just got out of prison. I'll take two.
Joshua Jackson: Why were you in prison?
Danny: I stole stuff.
Shane West: You stole stuff? Like jewels?
Rusty: Incan matrimonial headmasks.
Shane West: Is there a lot of money in that? Incan matrimonial -
Danny: - headmasks. Yeah, some.
Rusty: Don't let him fool you, there's boatloads. If you can move them. But you can't. I'll take two.
Danny: My fence seemed confident enough.
Rusty: Dealing in cash you don't need a fence.
Danny: Some people lack vision.
Rusty: Probably everybody on cellblock E.

Reuben: Where are they? That's what I wanna know, where the hell are they?
Saul: [in his fake accent] They *will* be here.
Reuben: "They *will* be here"... Schmuck!

[Linus is removing the lighting panel from the elevator. Danny appears in the space]
Linus: Oh Jesus!
Danny: Now you really didn't think I was gonna sit this one out, did you?
Linus: What, you didn't trust me?
Danny: I do now.

[Danny and Linus prepare to go down the elevator shaft]
Linus: How'd you get here?
Danny: Well, if you give a friend a couple million...
Linus: But what about Rusty, the whole argument? I mean, what was that about?
[Danny laughs]
Linus: Aww, come on, why couldn't you just tell me, why'd you put me through all this?
Danny: Where's the fun in that?

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