Ocean's Eleven (2001) quotes
90 total quotesOther
Reuben Tishkoff
Rusty Ryan
Saul Bloom
Terry Benedict
Tess Ocean
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Tess: You're a thief and a liar.
Danny: I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore.
Tess: Steal?
Danny: Lie.
Tess: I'm with someone who doesn't have to make that kind of distinction.
Danny: No, he's very clear on both.
Danny: I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore.
Tess: Steal?
Danny: Lie.
Tess: I'm with someone who doesn't have to make that kind of distinction.
Danny: No, he's very clear on both.
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Rusty: Tell me this is not about her, or I am walking. I am walking off this job right now.
Danny: Who?
Rusty: Tess. Terry Benedict. Tell me this is not about screwing the guy who's screwing your wife.
Danny: Ex-wife.
Rusty: Tell me.
Danny: It's not about that.
[pause]
Danny: It's not entirely about that.
[Rusty turns away, furious.]
Danny: Russ, do you remember what we said back when we first got into this business. We said we were gonna play the game...
Danny, Rusty: Like we had nothing to lose.
Danny: Well, I lost something... I lost someone. That's why I'm here.
[long pause]
Rusty: Okay, here's the problem - now we're stealing two things. And when push comes to shove, and you can't have both, which are you gonna choose? And remember - Tess does not split eleven ways.
Danny: Who?
Rusty: Tess. Terry Benedict. Tell me this is not about screwing the guy who's screwing your wife.
Danny: Ex-wife.
Rusty: Tell me.
Danny: It's not about that.
[pause]
Danny: It's not entirely about that.
[Rusty turns away, furious.]
Danny: Russ, do you remember what we said back when we first got into this business. We said we were gonna play the game...
Danny, Rusty: Like we had nothing to lose.
Danny: Well, I lost something... I lost someone. That's why I'm here.
[long pause]
Rusty: Okay, here's the problem - now we're stealing two things. And when push comes to shove, and you can't have both, which are you gonna choose? And remember - Tess does not split eleven ways.
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Reuben: What have you guys got against Terry Benedict?
Rusty: What do you have against him, that's the question.
Reuben: He torpedoed my casino, muscled me out. Now he's gonna blow it up next month to make way for some gaudy monstrosity! Don't think I don't see what you're doing.
Rusty: What are we doing, Reuben?
Reuben: If you're gonna steal from Terry Benedict, you'd better goddamn know. This sort of thing used to be civilized. You'd hit a guy, he'd whack you, done. But with Benedict... at the end of this, he'd better not know you're involved, not know your names, or think you're dead. Because he'll kill you, and then he'll go to work on you.
Rusty: What do you have against him, that's the question.
Reuben: He torpedoed my casino, muscled me out. Now he's gonna blow it up next month to make way for some gaudy monstrosity! Don't think I don't see what you're doing.
Rusty: What are we doing, Reuben?
Reuben: If you're gonna steal from Terry Benedict, you'd better goddamn know. This sort of thing used to be civilized. You'd hit a guy, he'd whack you, done. But with Benedict... at the end of this, he'd better not know you're involved, not know your names, or think you're dead. Because he'll kill you, and then he'll go to work on you.
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[masquerading as an A.T.F. agent, Rusty shoves Basher against a police car, pretending to search him.]
Rusty: [under his breath] Hey, Bash.
Basher: Hey, Russ.
Rusty: How fast can you put something together from what I just slipped you?
Basher: It's done.
[Rusty lifts up Basher, and they slowly leave the crime scene]
Basher: Hey, is Danny about?
Rusty: Yeah, he's waiting around the corner.
Basher: Oh, that's terrific! It will be nice working with proper villains again.
Officer: [shouting] Everybody down, now!
[they break into a run as explosions rock the crime scene]
Basher: Ha-ha-ha! They weren't expecting that shit!
Rusty: [under his breath] Hey, Bash.
Basher: Hey, Russ.
Rusty: How fast can you put something together from what I just slipped you?
Basher: It's done.
[Rusty lifts up Basher, and they slowly leave the crime scene]
Basher: Hey, is Danny about?
Rusty: Yeah, he's waiting around the corner.
Basher: Oh, that's terrific! It will be nice working with proper villains again.
Officer: [shouting] Everybody down, now!
[they break into a run as explosions rock the crime scene]
Basher: Ha-ha-ha! They weren't expecting that shit!
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Danny: Second task, power - on the night of the fight, we're gonna throw the switch on Sin City. Basher, it's your show.
Basher: You want broke, blind, or bedlam?
Danny: How about all three?
Basher: Right, it's done.
Basher: You want broke, blind, or bedlam?
Danny: How about all three?
Basher: Right, it's done.
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[while reconnoitering the casinos]
Virgil: [makes a note] He went in at 10:44.
Turk: 10:46, get a watch that works.
Virgil: Dude, you make me sick. It's 10:44.
Turk: 10:46.
Virgil: [makes a note] He went in at 10:44.
Turk: 10:46, get a watch that works.
Virgil: Dude, you make me sick. It's 10:44.
Turk: 10:46.
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Saul: Are you going to tell me? Or should I just say No and get it over with?
Rusty: Saul, you're the best there is. You're in Cooperstown. What do you want?
Saul: Nothing. I've got a duplex now, wall-to-wall, goldfish. I'm seeing a nice lady who works the "Unmentionables" counter at Macy's. I've changed.
Rusty: Guys like us don't change, Saul. We either stay sharp or we get sloppy, we don't change.
Saul: Quit conning me.
Rusty: Saul, you're the best there is. You're in Cooperstown. What do you want?
Saul: Nothing. I've got a duplex now, wall-to-wall, goldfish. I'm seeing a nice lady who works the "Unmentionables" counter at Macy's. I've changed.
Rusty: Guys like us don't change, Saul. We either stay sharp or we get sloppy, we don't change.
Saul: Quit conning me.
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Basher: That poxy demo crew haven't used a coaxial feed to batten the main line, have they? Instead they've gone and nosed up the backup grid, nosed it right up!
Reuben: [to Livingston] Do you understand any of this?
Livingston: I'll explain later.
Reuben: [to Livingston] Do you understand any of this?
Livingston: I'll explain later.
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Topher Grace: Hey Rus, let me ask you a question. Are you incorporated? Well, if not you should really think about it, 'couse I was talking to my manager...
Rusty: Bernie?
Topher Grace: No, not Bernie, my business manager. You know what? They're both named Bernie. Anyway, he was saying that because what we do here is kind of like research for a future like gig or whatever. I can totally make it a tax write off. The only thing is, and this is like *his* thing and it's stupid, is I'd have to pay you by check.
[Rusty stops and looks at him]
Topher Grace: Or we could stick with the cash. [Rusty nods] You know what? Yeah, let's just stick with the cash.
Rusty: Bernie?
Topher Grace: No, not Bernie, my business manager. You know what? They're both named Bernie. Anyway, he was saying that because what we do here is kind of like research for a future like gig or whatever. I can totally make it a tax write off. The only thing is, and this is like *his* thing and it's stupid, is I'd have to pay you by check.
[Rusty stops and looks at him]
Topher Grace: Or we could stick with the cash. [Rusty nods] You know what? Yeah, let's just stick with the cash.
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[sitting in a surveillance van with two FBI agents]
FBI Man #2: Let's see if we can zoom in on that guy...
FBI Man #1: Yeah.
[he reaches for the camera controls]
Livingston: Don't - don't - d-don't... Don't touch that.
FBI Man #1: Why not?
Livingston: Uh, do you see me grabbing the gun out of your holster and just waving it around?
FBI Man #2: Hey, radio shack, relax, will ya?
FBI Man #2: Let's see if we can zoom in on that guy...
FBI Man #1: Yeah.
[he reaches for the camera controls]
Livingston: Don't - don't - d-don't... Don't touch that.
FBI Man #1: Why not?
Livingston: Uh, do you see me grabbing the gun out of your holster and just waving it around?
FBI Man #2: Hey, radio shack, relax, will ya?
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[watching Linus trapped on the upper floor by security guards]
Virgil Malloy: Shouldn't someone help him?
Basher: Oh, that's a good idea, Albert. Let's hop out of the van and then we can all get nicked!
Virgil Malloy: Shouldn't someone help him?
Basher: Oh, that's a good idea, Albert. Let's hop out of the van and then we can all get nicked!
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Rusty: Saul, turn that off, will you?
Saul: [in fake accent] I'll turn it off when I'm ready to...
Rusty: Saul!
Saul: [normal voice] It's off, it's off!
Saul: [in fake accent] I'll turn it off when I'm ready to...
Rusty: Saul!
Saul: [normal voice] It's off, it's off!
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Rusty: [on Danny walking out of prison in a loosened black-tie suit] I hope you were the Groom.
Danny: [on Rusty's attire for picking him up from prison] Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back.
Danny: [on Rusty's attire for picking him up from prison] Ted Nugent called, he wants his shirt back.
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Turk: Watch it, bud.
Virgil: Who you calling bud, pal?
Turk: Who you calling pal, friend?
Virgil: Who you calling friend, jackass?
Turk: Don't call me a jackass.
Virgil: I just did call you a jackass!
Virgil: Who you calling bud, pal?
Turk: Who you calling pal, friend?
Virgil: Who you calling friend, jackass?
Turk: Don't call me a jackass.
Virgil: I just did call you a jackass!