Doctor Heller quotes

"No, no. I don't live here. I'm just here for the ladies." (at a nursing home)

"I don't make anything that's deadly."

"Totally nonlethal, but totally effective."

"That's a high-temperature fabric adhesive liquid projector, based on simple dry-cleaning technology. You aim that at a guy, and I'll tell you something: his clothes get so tight he can't even breathe."

"I can trick that out with a clam-shell holster. It comes with a leather carrying case. It's got a wadcutter and a full warranty."

"It's a psycho-frakulator! It creates a-a cloud of radically fluctuating deviant chaotrons, which penetrate the synaptic relays. It's concantenated with a-a synchronous transport switch that creates a virtual tributary! It's focused onto a biobolic reflector and what happens is, is that hallucinations become reality... and the brain is literally fried from within."

"Wait — you have a Herkimer battle jitney? That's the finest nonlethal military vehicle ever made!"

"Well, actually, it's an electro-nuclear-magnet. It's the next inevitable phase."

  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the