MASH quotes

44 total quotes (ID: 374)

Col. Blake
Hot Lips
Multiple Characters
Trapper John

If a man isn't a man anymore... what's he got left that he should be living for?

I'm a fairy. A victim of latent homosexuality. I've turned into a fairy.

[During football game] All right bud, your ****ing head is coming right off!

[Proudly] I like to think of the army as my home!

Oh, Frank, my lips are hot! Kiss my hot lips!

[In the middle of sex] Oh, Frank, strangle me!

This isn't a hospital, it's an insane asylum!

Ever since the dark days before Pearl Harbor, I have been proud to wear this uniform.

Alright men, we're not here to sell lemonade, we're here to practice!

How do ya like them apples, Charlie?

Ho-Jon: Hawkeye? Duke say you better haul ass home quick. We got new chest cutter in our tent.

P.A. Announcement: Attention. Captain Banning - er, Captain Bandini. [Exhales forcefully] Attention. Captain Bandini is now performing a femoral pop-- a popli-- a p-- a femoral P-O-P-L-I-T-E-R-A-L artery expli - exp - - exploration and possible graft.

Capt. Murrhardt: Painless is a dentist, and a dentist shouldn't read. That's his whole problem.

Capt. Bandini: Something in a marshmallow?

Hawkeye: Nurse, you got a clamp?
Lt. Dish: Yes.
Hawkeye: Scratch my nose.