The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou quotes

View Quote Tell me. Who knocked up the reporter?

View Quote Steve: Encounter with highly abnormal sharklike fish! Ten meters in length, unfamiliar dorsal features, spots all over it! I shot it dorsally with a homing dart! Esteban was eaten! Check the scanning monitor! Start tracking before it dives too deep!
Klaus: Esteban was bitten?
Steve: Eaten!
Klaus: Is he dead?
Steve: Esteban was eaten!
Klaus: He was swallowed whole?
Steve: No! Chewed!

View Quote Festival Director: That's an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?
Steve: Revenge.

View Quote Antonia Cook: You must be so excited.
Steve: I hope so. You think it went OK?
Antonia Cook: No. Congratulations... Seriously.
Steve: Thanks. I wish it didn't require the "seriously," but thank you.

View Quote Alistair: How are things going with your - what are you calling it? Leopard fish?
Steve: Jaguar shark.
Alistair: Jaguar shark! So tell me - does it really exist?
Steve: You know, Allie, I don't want to give away the ending.

View Quote Alistair: You're the most ravishing creature that I've ever seen in my life.
Eleanor: Hello Skinny.
Alistair: Hello Eleanor.
Eleanor: Is that a new merit badge?
Alistair: Oh, yeah, as a matter of fact it is. I just became a Knight in Portugal, the Presidente gave a special ball...
Steve: Don't be nice to Ali, he's my nemesis.

View Quote Steve: [referring to Hennessy] How could you lay that slick ****?
Eleanor: Well, I was in love with him at the time...

View Quote Steve: We were pretty good while we lasted, weren't we?
Oseary Drakoulias: Oh, we were like glory's gate, my darling. We were like that bloody shark of yours, we swam with the... oh, damn it, I had it on the plane.

View Quote Oseary Drakoulias: You must swear, legally swear that you will not kill that shark, or whatever it is, if it actually exists.
Steve: I'm going to fight it, but I'll let it live. What about my dynamite?
Oseary Drakoulias: [to assistant] Phillip, dynamite.

View Quote Ned: Captain Zissou my name is Ned Plimpton...
Steve: OK, Man.

View Quote Steve: You're supposed to be my son, right?
Ned: I don't know. But I did want to meet you, just in case.

View Quote Ned: Why didn't you ever try to contact me?
Steve: Because I hate fathers, and I never wanted to be one.

View Quote Steve: People say that when someone says something like that, it's because they're jealous. But it still hurts. It hurts bad.
Ned: That man was damn rude. He can go straight to hell.

View Quote Eleanor: Your cat's dead.
Steve: What? Which one?
Eleanor: Marmalade. I'm sorry.
Steve: What happened?
Eleanor: A rattlesnake bit it in the throat.
Steve: Goddamn it, Eleanor, why do you have to say it like that? You couldn't try to break it a little bit nicer?
Steve: She's a rich bitch, you know. She was raised by maids. Her parents paid for this island and two of my worst movies. People say she's the brains behind Team Zissou.
Ned: People say a lot of things. What kind of cat was it?
Steve: Who gives a shit?
Steve: I think it was a tabby.

View Quote Klaus: So, you really think you're a Zissou.
Ned: I don't know.
Klaus: Well, you traveled a long way for "I don't know," sonny.
Ned: That's true. But it's important to me.
Klaus: Yeah? Well, there are a lot of things that are important to some people around here, sonny.
Ned: Klaus, don't call me "sonny."
Klaus: And one more thing: It's the Steve Zissou show, not the Ned show. [slaps Ned in the face] You hear me?
Ned: Yes, I do. Klaus?
Klaus: Ja?
Ned: If you ever touch me again, I will kick your goddamn teeth out. Is that understood?
Klaus: Not if I don't see you first, sonny.