The Lady Eve quotes

View Quote [to Muggsy, about 'Lady Eve'] They look too much alike to be the same. If she came here with her hair dyed yellow and eyebrows different or something...But she didn't dye her hair and she didn't pretend she'd never seen me before which is the first thing that anybody'd do. She says I look familiar...If she didn't look so exactly like the other girl, I might be suspicious, but you don't understand psychology. If you wanted to pretend you were somebody else, you'd glue a muff on your chin and the dog wouldn't even bark at ya.

View Quote [to 'Lady Eve'] Well, I mean to say, uh, haven't we met?

View Quote [to Charles] See anything you like?

View Quote [to Charles] You look as honest as we do.

View Quote Sir Alfred: I'm afraid you've stumbled on the sorrow of Sidwich, the secret of the century. Lady Eve's father, the Earl, married Eve's younger mother in a May-November romance, even a March-December...Into the gulf that separated the unfortunate couple, there was a coachman on the estate, a gay dog, a great hand with the horses and the ladies, need I say more...They called him 'Handsome Harry'.
Charles: That's the father of the girl on the boat.
Sir Alfred: Of course it is, the father of the other child, after the divorce, of course.
Charles: But they looked exactly alike.
Sir Alfred: We must close our minds to that fact as it brings up the dreadful and thoroughly unfounded suspicion that we must carry to our tombs, as it is utterly untenable that the coachman, in both instances...need I say more?

View Quote Jean: You know Charles?
Sir Alfred: Oh, is he the tall backwards boy always toying with toads and things? Yes, I think I have seen him skulking about.
Jean: He's not backwards. He's a scientist.
Sir Alfred: Oh is that what it is? I knew he was, mm... peculiar.

View Quote [after Charles tells her he knew she was a con-artist and he romanced and dumped her on purpose] You mean you were playing me for a sucker? I don't believe it. But if you were, if you were just trying to make me feel cheap and hurt me, you succeeded handsomely. You ought to be very proud of yourself, Mr. Pike, very proud of yourself.

View Quote Steward: Good morning, sir. Fruit, cereal, bacon and egg, egg and sausage, sausage and hot cake, hot cake and ham, ham and egg, egg and bacon, bacon and...
Muggsy: Gimme a spoonful of milk, a raw pigeon's egg and four house flies. If you can't catch any, I'll settle for a ****roach.

View Quote Jean: What were you doing up the Amazon?
Charles: Looking for snakes. I'm an ophiologist.
Jean: I thought you were in the beer business.
Charles: Beer? Ale!
Jean: What's the difference?
Charles: Between beer and ale?
Jean: Yes.
Charles: My father'd burst a blood vessel if he heard you say that. There's a big difference. Ale's sort of fermented on the top or something, and beer's fermented on the bottom, or maybe it's the other way around. There's no similarity at all. You see, the trouble with being descended from a brewer, no matter how long ago he brewered, or whatever you call it, you're supposed to know all about something you don't give a hoot about.

View Quote Jean: When I think we let that sucker off scot free, it makes my blood boil.
Colonel: I told you not to mix business with pleasure.