The Lady Eve quotes

View Quote Jean: You see, Hopsie, you don't know very much about girls! The best ones aren't as good as you probably think they are, and the bad ones aren't as bad. Not nearly as bad. So I suppose you're right to worry, falling in love with an adventuress on the high seas.
Charles: Are you an adventuress?
Jean: Of course I am. All women are. They have to be. If you waited for a man to propose to you from natural causes, you'd die of old maidenhood. That's why I let you try my slippers on. And then I put my cheek against yours. And then I made you put your arms around me. And then I, I fell in love with you, which wasn't in the cards.
[Charles shows her the photo of her and her father, identifying them as con-artists]
Jean: Rotten likeness, isn't it? I never cared for that picture...Please don't look so upset, darling. I was going to tell you when we got to New York. I would have told you last night, only it wouldn't have been fair to Harry and Gerald. I mean you, you never know how someone's going to take things like that. And well, maybe I wanted you to love me a little more too. You believe me, don't you? You don't think I was gonna marry you without telling you? You don't think that badly of me? Or do you?

View Quote Jean: When I think we let that sucker off scot free, it makes my blood boil.
Colonel: I told you not to mix business with pleasure.

View Quote Gerald: I can't understand how that horse ran fifth!
Jean: There were only five horses in the race.

View Quote Jean: You know Charles?
Sir Alfred: Oh, is he the tall backwards boy always toying with toads and things? Yes, I think I have seen him skulking about.
Jean: He's not backwards. He's a scientist.
Sir Alfred: Oh is that what it is? I knew he was, mm... peculiar.

View Quote Sir Alfred: I'm afraid you've stumbled on the sorrow of Sidwich, the secret of the century. Lady Eve's father, the Earl, married Eve's younger mother in a May-November romance, even a March-December...Into the gulf that separated the unfortunate couple, there was a coachman on the estate, a gay dog, a great hand with the horses and the ladies, need I say more...They called him 'Handsome Harry'.
Charles: That's the father of the girl on the boat.
Sir Alfred: Of course it is, the father of the other child, after the divorce, of course.
Charles: But they looked exactly alike.
Sir Alfred: We must close our minds to that fact as it brings up the dreadful and thoroughly unfounded suspicion that we must carry to our tombs, as it is utterly untenable that the coachman, in both instances...need I say more?

View Quote Sir Alfred: I took the further precaution of telling him the plot of Cecilia, or the Coachman's Daughter, a gaslight melodrama...I filled him full of handsome coachmen, elderly Earls, young wives, and the two little girls who looked exactly alike.
Eve: You mean he actually swallowed that?
Sir Alfred: Like a wolf. Well, and now that you've got him, what are you gonna do with him?
Eve: I'm going to finish what I started, I'm going to dine with him, dance with him, swim with him, laugh at his jokes, canoodle with him and then one day, about six weeks from now...It won't even take six weeks. One day, about two weeks from now, we'll be riding in the hills, past waterfalls and mountain greenery, up and down ravines and around through vine-covered trails, 'til we come to a spot where the scenery will be so gorgeous, it will rise up and smite me on the head like a hammer. And the sunset will be so beautiful I'll have to get off my horse to admire it, and as I stand there against the glory of Mother Nature, my horse will steal up behind me and nuzzle my hair, AND SO WILL CHARLES, THE HEEL.

View Quote Charles: I think that if there's one time in your life to be careful, to weigh every pro and con, that this is the time.
Eve: Oh yes, you, you can't be too careful.
Charles: That's right. Now, you might think that having known you such a short time...
Eve: I-I feel I've known you always.
Charles: That's the way I feel about you. I don't just see you here in front of the sunset. But you seem to go way back. I see you here but at the same time, further away and still further away, and way, way back in a, a long place like a...
Eve: Like a forest glade.
Charles: That's right. How did you guess?
Eve: Because, that's where I see you always. We held hands, way, way back.
Charles: Why, that's remarkable. That's like telepathy.
Eve: I can read many of your thoughts.
Charles: Then, I need hardly tell you of the doubts I've had before I brought myself to speak like this. You see Eve, you're so beautiful, you're so fine, you're so...I don't deserve you.
Eve: Oh but you do, Charles. If anybody ever deserved me, you do. So richly.
Charles: Eve!
Eve: Charles!

View Quote Colonel: ...now she's honeymooning on a train with a man she hates.
Gerald: Maybe she's gonna shoot him.
Colonel: She's afraid of guns.
Gerald: Maybe she's gonna push him out of the window.
Colonel: No. You can't open a window on a train.

View Quote Charles: I won't conceal from you that I wish this hadn't happened but it has...and so it has. A girl of sixteen is practically an idiot anyway, so I can't very well blame you for something that was practically done by somebody else. I want to thank you for being so frank. The name of Angus will never cross my lips again and I hope that you will do likewise. Now, let us smile and be as we were.
Eve: I knew you'd be that way. I knew it the first moment I saw you standing beside me - I knew you'd be both husband and father to me, I knew I could trust and confide in you. I suppose that's why I fell in love with you. I wonder if now would be the time to tell you about - Herman?

View Quote Jean: You really haven't the right to drag me off like this, Hopsie...Why didn't you take me in your arms that day...Why did you let me go? Why did we have to go through all this nonsense? Don't you know you're the only man I ever loved? Don't you know I couldn't look at another man if I wanted to? And don't you know I waited all my life for you, you big mug.
Charles: Will you forgive me?
Jean: For what? Oh you mean, on the boat. The question is, can you forgive me?
Charles: What for?
Jean: Oh, you still don't understand.
Charles: I don't want to understand. I don't want to know. Whatever it is, keep it to yourself. All I know is I adore you. I'll never leave you again. We'll work it out somehow. There's just one thing. I feel it's only fair to tell you. It would never have happened except she looked so exactly like you. And I have no right to be in your cabin.
Jean: Why?
Charles: Because I'm married.
Jean: But so am I, darling. So am I.