Kung Fu Panda

Kung Fu Panda quotes

81 total quotes (ID: 326)

Master Tigress
Tai Lung

There is a saying. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why we call it the present.

There are no accidents.

One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

Tigress: It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single Ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
Po: I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet, heh heh. I'mma need a lot more than dew, and, uh, universe juice. (he slurps his noodles, with one hanging over his nose; everyone laughs) What?
Mantis: Oh, nothing, ...Master Shifu. (everyone laughs again.)
Po (impersonating Master Shifu): You will never be the Dragon Warrior unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth. (The Furious Five, except Tigress, laugh) What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I have never heard of it! Work hard, Panda, and maybe someday you will have ears like mine! (he brings two bowls up to his head to mimic ears; the Furious Five laugh, but stop and see Shifu behind Po) Ears. It's not working for ya? I thought they're pretty good...
Monkey (whispering): It's Shifu!
Po: Of course it's Shifu, who do you think I'm doing? (Monkey points to the door. Po looks and sees Shifu.)
Po: Oh, Master Shifu! Uh.... (Slurps the noodle and accidently presses the bowls to his chest so he looks like he has on a bikini bottom top. The Five laugh.)
Shifu: (Agrily) You think this is funny?

I sucked more than anyone in the history of kung fu — in the history of China — in the history of sucking!

Careful that soup is — sharp!

I'm not just a big fat panda. I'm THE big fat panda.

He was so deadly in fact that his enemies would go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness!

(Performing Wuxi Finger Hold) You know what's the hardest part of this? The hardest part, is cleaning up afterwards.

I see you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom.

Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before its time.

Quit, don't quit. Noodles, don't noodles. You are too concerned with what was, and what will be.

Tai Lung: You're just a big... fat... panda! (Po grabs his finger)
Po: I'm not a big fat panda. I'm THE big fat panda.

Viper: Are you ready?
Po: I was born ready- (Viper proceeds to beat Po up)
Viper: I'm sorry, brother! I thought you said you were ready!
Po: That was awesome! Let's go again!

Po: Lets just start at zero; Level Zero.
Shifu: Oh no. There is no such thing as Level Zero.
Po: Hey! Maybe I can start on that! (Walks over to the punching bag-like object)
Shifu: That? We use that for training children and propping the door open when it's hot!
Po: Perfect! (Notices the Furious Five watching him with curious expressions) Eh... you just want me to wait until they go back on their own thing or...
Shifu: Never mind them, go on, hit it.
Po: Eh...okay...(Starts doing quick movements with his feet and mumbling to himself)
Shifu: Would you hit it?!
Po: Right....(Taps it, making it wobble)
Shifu: Why don't you try again? A little harder?
Po: Right...(Hits it harder, making it lean back a lot) How's th-- (is hit by it and sent flying into the moving ropes and swinging pendulums, only to be thrusted into Crane's tilting bowl, hitting his head several times until it tips over into the moving arm guard section, where it sets off a chain reaction that causes one to hit him in the groin) Ooooo-hoo-hoo! My tenders...(Slowly starts to move, activating the arms and smacking him into the fire floor area. The camera pans back to Shifu and the Furious Five, and we hear the fire activate and Po screaming. He slumps over next to Shifu, burnt and charred) How did I do?
Shifu: There is now a Level Zero. (Puts out a flame on top of Po's head)