Kung Fu Panda quotes

View Quote [first lines]
Po: Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.

View Quote (During Po's dream sequence)
Wolf Bandit: He's too awesome!
Female Bystander: And attractive!
Bar owner: How can we repay you?
Dream Po: There is no charge for awesomeness. Or attractiveness.

View Quote Tigress: One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu.
Crane: Yeah, or at least touch his toes.
Monkey: Or even see his toes.

View Quote Oogway: There are no accidents.
Shifu: [Sighs] Yes, I know. You said that already. Twice.
Oogway: Well, that was no accident either.
Shifu: Thrice.

View Quote (Po is making dinner for The Furious Five) Po: So I'm like "Fine. You may be a wolf. You may be the scariest bandit in the Fujian Province, but you're a lousy tipper!"
Crane: Really? So how'd you get out of there alive?
Po: I mean, I didn't, I didn't actually say that... but I thought it... in... in my mind. If he could read my mind he woulda been like "What?" Order up.

View Quote (Shifu walks in to see Po in the kitchen, having just punched through a clear stone cupboard and is currently eating its contents) Po: (Sees Shifu and stops; Shifu looks around the kitchen) ...What? (angrily now) I eat when I'm upset, okay?
Shifu: (Getting inspiration) Oh, no need to explain. I just thought you might be Monkey... He hides his almond cookies on the top shelf. (Pretends to walk off and leans against the wall beside the doorway, hearing a bit of scuffling. When he looks in, Po is 10 feet above the ground, doing a perfect split to keep himself airborne and is currently shoveling Monkey's almond cookies into his face. After a minute, Po sees Shifu)
Po: (with cookies in his mouth) ...Don't tell Monkey...

View Quote (Mantis is giving Po acupuncture) Po: I thought you said acupuncture would make me feel [Mantis strikes another needle] better...
Mantis: Trust me, it will. It's just not easy finding the right nerve points under all this...
Po: Fat?
Mantis: Fur. I was gonna say fur.
Po: Sure you were.

View Quote Po: The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can get cut just by looking at - Ow!

View Quote Tai Lung: The Wuxi finger hold!
Po: Oh, you know this hold?
Tai Lung: You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that!
Po: Nope. I figured it out. (Po then flexes his pinky finger) Skadoosh!

View Quote Oogway: Look at this tree, Shifu. (Indicates the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom) I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before its time.
Shifu: But there are things we can control! (Slams a fist into the tree, making several peaches fall around them) I can control where the fruit will fall! (Catches a peach, cuts it in half, takes the pit and slams it into the ground) And I can control where to plant the seed! That is no illusion, Master!
Oogway: Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Shifu: But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!
Oogway: Maybe it can - if you are willing to guide it, to nurture it, to believe in it.

View Quote (After Shifu keeps stealing Po's dumplings at a picnic) Shifu (calmly): You are free to eat.
Po: AM I !?
Shifu: ARE YOU !? (Chopstick battle begins)

View Quote Tigress: [after Tigress lectures Po and he makes a weird facial expression] Oh, that's it! [about to punch him]
Mantis: Wait! My fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve! [Po falls over with his back full of needles] ...And I may have also stopped his heart.

View Quote Tai Lung (leaning on the bridge): Where's the Dragon Warrior?
Tigress: How do you know you're not looking at her? (Tai Lung laughs)
Tai Lung: You think I'm a fool? I know you're not the Dragon Warrior. None of you. (the Furious Five) I heard how he fell out of the sky on a ball of fire. That he's a warrior unlike anything the world has ever seen.
Monkey: Po?
Tai Lung: So that is his name. Po. Finally! A worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary!

View Quote Po (in awe): No! The legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors; said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu Army! [pauses before whispering] Hello?
Shifu: Have you finished sight-seeing? [Po gasps]
Po:(Thinks the urn is talking to him) Sorry, I should've come to see you first.
Shifu: My patience has worn thin.
Po: Oh, well it's not like you were going anywhere.
Shifu: Would you please turn around?
Po: [Turns to the left a bit] Hey, how's it going?

View Quote [as Po bounces down the palace steps] Tigress: If he's smart, he won't come back up those stairs.
Monkey: But he will.
Viper: He's not gonna quit, is he?
Mantis: He's not gonna quit bouncing, I can tell you that.