Husband
Well, what's our little skeptic doing today?
Housewife She's frying the cat in pure Nesson oil. [cat screams]
The Kentucky Fried Movie quotes
Page 2 of 3 Housewife 
Loo And who are they?
Refuse, found in waterfront bars.
Loo Shanghaied?
Just lost drunken men who don't know where they are and no longer care.
Prisoner #1
Where are we?
Prisoner #2
I don't care!
Loo And these?
These are lost drunken men who don't know where they are, but do care! And these are men who know where they are and care, but don't drink.
Prisoner #3
I don't know who I am?
Prisoner #4
And I don't drink!
Guards! [to prisoner] Do you care?
Prisoner #5
No.
Put this man in cell #1, and give him a drink.
Guard What do you drink?
Prisoner #5
I don't care.
Rams plagued by fumbles as earthquakes rock Los Angeles. Film at eleven.
If you were thrilled by "The Towering Inferno," if you were terrified by "Earthquake," Then you will be SCARED SHITLESS at the Samuel L. Bronkowitz production of "That's Armageddon!"
Pennington
These are the Hartz Mountains of Asia. A terrain so rugged, so treacherous, no country will claim it.
Asquith
Worse then Detroit?
Pennington
I'm afraid so.
The Architect What are you saying?
The Nurse Leave her... come back to Montana with me.
The Architect I could no sooner run away from her than myself.
The Nurse I'm not asking you to run, I'm asking you to face reality!
The Architect Whose reality, yours or mine?
The Nurse My reality AND yours, that's whose!
The Architect What are you saying?
The Nurse Leave her! Come back to Montana with me!
The Architect I could no sooner run away from her than myself!
The Nurse I'm not asking you to run, I'm asking you to face reality!
The Architect Whose reality, yours or mine?
The Nurse My reality AND yours, that's whose!
The Architect What are you saying?
[telephone rings, answering machine picks up]
Herro. This is Dr. Klahn. I'm not home right now. Leave a message when you hear the beyep. You have our gratitude. [gong sound]
Although, so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death: one, rigor mortis; two, a rotting smell; three, occasional drowsiness.
Brutal! Savage! Beyond Perversion!
I'm not wearing any pants. Film at eleven.
In the past year, over 800,000 millions have died. Despite millions of dollars of research, death continues to be our nation's number one killer.
It is also important to know what to do you when you die. 1) Don't try to drive a car. 2) Do not operate heavy machinery. 3) Do not talk.
Moscow in flames, missiles headed to New York, film at eleven.
Moscow in flames, missiles inbound, film at 11:00
Never before has the beauty of the sexual act been so crassly exploited!