Joe Versus the Volcano quotes

View Quote [on the phone] No. No. You were wrong. He was wrong. Who said that? I didn't say that. If I had said that, I would've been wrong. I would've been wrong, Harry, isn't that right?

View Quote Luggage Salesman: Have you thought much about luggage, Mr. Banks?
Joe: No.
Luggage Salesman: It's the central preoccupation of my life.

View Quote Patricia: That outfit's wearing you, Felix.
Joe: Why are you calling me Felix? My name is Joe.
Patricia: I am calling you Felix because I do what I want.

View Quote Patricia: Wait, stop right there! I love you! I've fallen in love with you. I've never loved anybody. I don't know how it happened. I never even slept with you or anything. And now you're gonna kill yourself.
Joe: [to the Chief] Can you give us a minute?
[Chief nods]
Joe: You love me?
Patricia: Yes, I love you. I can feel my heart...I feel like I'm going crazy. You can't just die and leave me alone on this stinking earth without you.
Joe: I've gotta do it.
Patricia: Why? Why? The Chief doesn't even want you to do it. Do you, Chief?
Joe: 'Cause I've wasted my entire life and I'm gonna die. Now I have a chance to die like a man, and I'm gonna take it. I've gotta take it.
Patricia: I love you!
Joe: I love you, too! I've never been in love with anybody before, either. It's great. I'm glad. But the timing stinks. [kisses her on the cheek] I've gotta go.

View Quote Take me... to the volcano!

View Quote Luggage Salesman: This is our premier steamer trunk, it's all handmade, only the finest materials. It's even watertight, tight as a drum. If I had the need, and the wherewithal, Mr. Banks, this would be my trunk of choice.
Joe: I'll take four of them.
Luggage Salesman: May you live to be a thousand years old, sir.

View Quote Patricia: I wonder where we'll end up?
Joe: Away from the things of man, my love. Away from the things of man.

View Quote So I'm not sick? Except for this terminal disease?

View Quote Marshall: What kinda clothes do you got now?
Joe: Well, I got the kinda clothes I'm wearing.
Marshall: So you got no clothes.

View Quote Waponi Chief: Do you want to marry him?
Patricia: Yes.
Waponi Chief: Do you want to marry her?
Joe Banks: Yes.
Waponi Chief: You're married.

View Quote Patricia: Boy, we really lucked out.
Joe: Yeah...but we're in the middle of nowhere. We're gonna drown.
Patricia: No we're not. I don't know how, but we're gonna be all right.
[Joes's trunks pop out of the water]
Patricia: See?
Joe: How did you do that?

View Quote [Joe and Marshall are both wearing Armani tuxedos]
Joe: Feel like I'm getting married.
Marshall: I feel like I'm giving you away.