Joe Versus the Volcano

Joe Versus the Volcano quotes

42 total quotes (ID: 304)

Frank Waturi
Joe Banks
Multiple Characters
Patricia Graynamore

Angelica: You're in a rotten mood.
Patricia: It's the sunshine. Gets me down.

Joe: You look terrible, Mr. Waturi. You look like a bag of shit stuffed in a cheap suit. Not that anyone could look good under these zombie lights. I, I, I, I can feel them sucking the juice out of my eyeball. Suck, suck, suck, SUCK... [makes a sucking noise] For 300 bucks a week, that's the news. For 300 bucks a week, I've lived in this sink, this used rubber.
Mr. Waturi: You watch it, mister! There's a woman here!
Joe: Don't you think I know that, Frank? Don't you think I am aware there is a woman here? I can smell her, like, like a flower. I can taste her, like sugar on my tongue. When I'm 20 feet away I can hear the fabric of her dress when she moves in her chair. Not that I've done anything about it. I've gone all day, every day, not doing, not saying, not taking the chance for three hundred bucks a week, and Frank the coffee stinks it's like arsenic, the lights give me a headache if the lights don't give you a headache you must be dead, let's arrange the funeral.
Mr. Waturi: You better get outta here right now! I'm telling you!
Joe: You're telling me nothing. And why, I ask myself, why have I put up with you? I can't imagine but now I know. Fear. Yellow freakin' fear. I've been too chicken shit afraid to live my life so I sold it to you for three hundred freakin' dollars a week! You're lucky I don't kill you! You're lucky I don't rip your freakin' throat out! But I'm not going to and maybe you're not so lucky at that. 'Cause I'm gonna leave you here, Mr. Waturi, and what could be worse than that?

Joe: I've never been to L.A. before.
Angelica: What do you think?
Joe: It looks fake. I like it!

It's always gonna be something with you, isn't it Joe?

[to DeDe] I mean, who am I? That's the real question, isn't it? Who am I? Who are you? What other questions are there? What other questions are there, really? If you want to understand the universe, embrace the universe, the door to the universe is you!

[to Joe] You mean you were diagnosed with something called a brain cloud and didn't ask for a second opinion?

Marshall: They just pay me to drive the limo, sir. I'm not here to tell you who you are.
Joe: I didn't ask you to tell me who I am.
Marshall: You were hinting around about clothes. That happens to be a very important topic to me, sir. Clothes, Mr...
Joe: Banks.
Marshall: Banks. Clothes make the man. I believe that. You say to me you want to go shopping, you want to buy clothes, but you don't know what kind. You leave that hanging in the air, like I'm going to fill in the blank, that to me is like asking me who you are, and I don't know who you are, I don't want to know. It's taken me my whole life to find out who I am, and I'm tired now, you hear what I'm saying?

Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life.

Patricia: That outfit's wearing you, Felix.
Joe: Why are you calling me Felix? My name is Joe.
Patricia: I am calling you Felix because I do what I want.

[to Joe] Do you think I feel good? Nobody feels good. After childhood, it's a fact of life. I feel rotten. So what? I don't let it bother me. I don't let it interfere with my job.

[on the phone, repeated] Yeah, Harry, but can he do the job? I know he can get the job, but can he do the job? I'm not arguing that with you. I'm not arguing that with you. I'm not arguing that with you.

[to Joe his first night aboard the Tweedle Dee] I've always kept clear of my father's stuff ever since I got out on my own. And now he's pulling me back in. He knew I wanted this boat and he used it and he got me working for him, which I swore I would never do. I feel ashamed because I had a price. He named it and now I know that about myself. And I could treat you like I did back out on the dock, but that would be me kicking myself for selling out, which isn't fair to you. Doesn't make me feel any better. I don't know what your situation is but I wanted you to know what mine is not just to explain some rude behavior, but because we're on a little boat for a while and... I'm soul sick. And you're going to see that.

[to Angelica] If you have a choice between killing yourself and doing something you're scared of doing, why not take the leap and do the thing you're scared of doing?

[to Patricia] I tell you one thing, though. Wherever we go, whatever we do, we're gonna take this luggage with us!

Patricia: Wait, stop right there! I love you! I've fallen in love with you. I've never loved anybody. I don't know how it happened. I never even slept with you or anything. And now you're gonna kill yourself.
Joe: [to the Chief] Can you give us a minute?
[Chief nods]
Joe: You love me?
Patricia: Yes, I love you. I can feel my heart...I feel like I'm going crazy. You can't just die and leave me alone on this stinking earth without you.
Joe: I've gotta do it.
Patricia: Why? Why? The Chief doesn't even want you to do it. Do you, Chief?
Joe: 'Cause I've wasted my entire life and I'm gonna die. Now I have a chance to die like a man, and I'm gonna take it. I've gotta take it.
Patricia: I love you!
Joe: I love you, too! I've never been in love with anybody before, either. It's great. I'm glad. But the timing stinks. [kisses her on the cheek] I've gotta go.