Joe Dirt quotes
44 total quotesBuffalo Bob
Joe Dirt
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Zander Kelly
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I got the poo on me!!
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Now, you're telling me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that?
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What's the story here? I'm a white trash idiot - The end.
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Why have you got a wig? You doing stunt work for Billy Ray Cyrus?
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Don't you get it? Stinky stuff is your milieu. Okay? This is your deal. You are an underachievement nexus of the universe.
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Well, well, well, the famous Brandy - Tokyo Rose of the trailer park.
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ohforchristsakes, HERE! [sends AutoTrader down well]
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Railroad Boy #1: Oh - it's so flat!
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Joe Dirt: Well today I'm gonna be picking up my Hemi Roadrunner. That's right, I said Hemi.
Jill: Wow. A Hemi. Balls to the Wall.
Joe Dirt: Yep, left it at a friends house.
[under his breath]
Joe Dirt: Actually it got towed away two years ago.
[loud again]
Joe Dirt: But I'm picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say?
Jill: That's a big ten-four.
Jill: Wow. A Hemi. Balls to the Wall.
Joe Dirt: Yep, left it at a friends house.
[under his breath]
Joe Dirt: Actually it got towed away two years ago.
[loud again]
Joe Dirt: But I'm picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say?
Jill: That's a big ten-four.
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[when the dog starts humping Little Joe's leg]
Little Joe Dirt: Can I push him off of me?
Miss Clipper: He'll stop humping as soon as he's done.
Little Joe Dirt: Can I push him off of me?
Miss Clipper: He'll stop humping as soon as he's done.
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Bullying Man #2: [throws Joe an apple core after he farts on it] I got a fart. You want that?
Joe Dirt: Maybe if it came out of Charlene Tilton's ass I'd take a bite.
Bullying Man #2: You probably liked J.R., you ****. I saw your bumper sticker: "cowboys' butts drive me nuts."
Joe Dirt: [sticks his fists up] This ****? Is this ****?
Joe Dirt: Maybe if it came out of Charlene Tilton's ass I'd take a bite.
Bullying Man #2: You probably liked J.R., you ****. I saw your bumper sticker: "cowboys' butts drive me nuts."
Joe Dirt: [sticks his fists up] This ****? Is this ****?
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Joe Dirt: Well, I see you got those snakes and sparklers. But where's the good stuff man?
Kicking Wing: Good stuff? This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers.
Joe Dirt: Are you nuts dude? You need stuff that'll explode. Go boom!
Kicking Wing: Why is that good?
Joe Dirt: Well, duh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good? Why are boobs good? Man, firecrackers, ya stick 'em in mailboxes, you drop 'em in toilets, shove 'em up bullfrogs asses.
Kicking Wing: I would never do that, because one day I'm going to be a veterinarian
Joe Dirt: Well there you go, one day a bullfrog has a M-80 up his ass, he comes to you, you win twice brother
Kicking Wing: Good stuff? This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers.
Joe Dirt: Are you nuts dude? You need stuff that'll explode. Go boom!
Kicking Wing: Why is that good?
Joe Dirt: Well, duh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good? Why are boobs good? Man, firecrackers, ya stick 'em in mailboxes, you drop 'em in toilets, shove 'em up bullfrogs asses.
Kicking Wing: I would never do that, because one day I'm going to be a veterinarian
Joe Dirt: Well there you go, one day a bullfrog has a M-80 up his ass, he comes to you, you win twice brother
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God Almighty, mana from inbred heaven. Hey freak boy: 1976 called, it wants its hairstyle back.