Joe Dirt

Joe Dirt quotes

44 total quotes (ID: 303)

Buffalo Bob
Joe Dirt
Zander Kelly

I got the poo on me!!

Now, you're telling me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that?

What's the story here? I'm a white trash idiot - The end.

Why have you got a wig? You doing stunt work for Billy Ray Cyrus?

Don't you get it? Stinky stuff is your milieu. Okay? This is your deal. You are an underachievement nexus of the universe.

Well, well, well, the famous Brandy - Tokyo Rose of the trailer park.

ohforchristsakes, HERE! [sends AutoTrader down well]

Railroad Boy #1: Oh - it's so flat!

Robby: You all right Dirt?
Joe Dirt: Yeah, I'm cool.
Robby: No you're not.

Joe Dirt: Well today I'm gonna be picking up my Hemi Roadrunner. That's right, I said Hemi.
Jill: Wow. A Hemi. Balls to the Wall.
Joe Dirt: Yep, left it at a friends house.
[under his breath]
Joe Dirt: Actually it got towed away two years ago.
[loud again]
Joe Dirt: But I'm picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say?
Jill: That's a big ten-four.

[when the dog starts humping Little Joe's leg]
Little Joe Dirt: Can I push him off of me?
Miss Clipper: He'll stop humping as soon as he's done.

Bullying Man #2: [throws Joe an apple core after he farts on it] I got a fart. You want that?
Joe Dirt: Maybe if it came out of Charlene Tilton's ass I'd take a bite.
Bullying Man #2: You probably liked J.R., you queer. I saw your bumper sticker: "cowboys' butts drive me nuts."
Joe Dirt: [sticks his fists up] This queer? Is this queer?

Joe Dirt: Well, I see you got those snakes and sparklers. But where's the good stuff man?
Kicking Wing: Good stuff? This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers.
Joe Dirt: Are you nuts dude? You need stuff that'll explode. Go boom!
Kicking Wing: Why is that good?
Joe Dirt: Well, duh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good? Why are boobs good? Man, firecrackers, ya stick 'em in mailboxes, you drop 'em in toilets, shove 'em up bullfrogs asses.
Kicking Wing: I would never do that, because one day I'm going to be a veterinarian
Joe Dirt: Well there you go, one day a bullfrog has a M-80 up his ass, he comes to you, you win twice brother

God Almighty, mana from inbred heaven. Hey freak boy: 1976 called, it wants its hairstyle back.