Joe Dirt

Joe Dirt quotes

44 total quotes (ID: 303)

Buffalo Bob
Joe Dirt
Zander Kelly

You guys got somethin' to say to me? Why don't you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working and guess what? they don't like no feed back, what's up?

His name's Rocky and he ain't no puppy.

[Trying to scrape Charlie the dog's testicles off the frozen porch] Now, this ain't no flapjack, so I'm gonna be real careful, I won't look.

My name is Joe Dirt?, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.

[Joe falls off a swing] And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandy was looking up at that same moon. Then I realized I had a home all along, in Silvertown.

There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I'm number one. Rule number two, the croc's number two.

[To himself] YOU JUST SAID YOUR SISTER WAS HOT. WHAT A FOR-EEK. You're going to Hell, man.

And you'll be sticking your head out the window and check out chick dogs saying "What's up, baby?"

Luckily, my neck broke my fall.

You wanna fight? Why don't you stick your head up my butt and fight for air?

It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole.

Why don't you go practice, fallin' down, I'll be there in a minute.

Where's my supplies?

I thought I had broken my ass bone

[while on air balloon] I can see down your shirt