Hot Rod quotes

View Quote Furious Boss: You're a terrible stuntman.
Rod Kimble: What?
Furious Boss: [louder] You're a terrible stuntman.
Rod Kimble: What?
Furious Boss: [screaming] You're a terrible stuntman!
Rod Kimble: Haha, I'm just kidding. I could hear you. It was just really mean.

View Quote Denise: Tai Chi teaches that if you focus your body and mind you'll be able to perform at the peak of your abilities.
Rod Kimble: Yes, Sensei.
Denise: You don't have to call me Sensei, Rod.
Rod Kimble: Got it. Sensei, I have a question: Is there a Tai Chi move that would make a grown man crap his pants and not know why?
Denise: I'm not going to lie to you, Rod. That move does exist. But you're not ready for it yet.
Rod Kimble: As you wish, Sensei.

View Quote Marie Powell: It's nice to see him smiling again.
Rod Kimble: Yeah, but you know what won't make him smile? [yelling] WHEN I MURDER HIM! [slams door and shatters window on door] And I'm genuinely sorry about the window!

View Quote Rico: I hope you enjoy the show.
Frank Powell: I can assure you I won't.

View Quote Rod Kimble: Your video made me look like an idiot.
Kevin Powell: I didn't mean to.
Rod Kimble: What was it Kev? Jealousy? You couldn't take everyone loving my stunts and thinking you're short?
Kevin Powell: I'm not short...
Rod Kimble: YES, YOU ARE.
Kevin Powell: NO, I'M NOT!

View Quote Rod Kimble: [after finding out his dad wasn't a stuntman] So how did he die?
Marie Powell: He choked on some pie.
Rod Kimble: What? Come on! Seriously?
Marie Powell: He wanted to win that contest so badly...

View Quote Rod Kimble: I used to be legit. In fact, I was too legit. I was too legit to quit. But now I'm not legit. I'm unlegit. And for that reason, I must quit.
Denise: You don't mean that...
Rod Kimble: Yeah, I do. Stay sweet. [Walks away and gets hit by a car]

View Quote Kevin Powell: So, cool beans?
Rod Kimble: Cool beans.
Kevin Powell: Cool beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool beans.
Kevin Powell: Cool beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool beans.
Kevin Powell: Cool beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool beans.
Kevin Powell: Cool beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool-Cool-
Kevin Powell: Beans-Beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool-
Kevin Powell: Beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool-Cool-
Kevin Powell: Beans-Beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool-
Kevin Powell: Beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool-Cool
Kevin Powell: Beans-Beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool-
Kevin Powell: Beans.
Rod Kimble: Cooooooooooooool-
Kevin Powell: Be-Be-Be-Be-Beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool-Cool
Kevin Powell: Beans-Beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool-
Kevin Powell: Beans.
Rod Kimble: Coo-Coo-Cool
Kevin Powell: Beans-Beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool-
Kevin Powell: Beans.
Rod Kimble: C-C-C-Cool
Kevin Powell: Beans-Beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool-
Kevin Powell: Beans.
Rod Kimble: Cool-Cool
Kevin Powell: Bea-Be-Be-Be-Be.
Rod Kimble: COOL BEANS!
Kevin Powell: So, cool beans?
Rod Kimble: Yeah, cool beans.

View Quote Dave: Oh, whoa, wait, what... Why is Rod kissing his sister, man?
Rico: Uh, Denise isn't his sister.
Dave: She's not?
Kevin Powell: No.
Dave: Aw, man. That just shatters my entire universe.

View Quote Rod Kimble: Souls of the Animal Kingdom! Eagle, Fox, Bottlenose Dolphin, Octopus, House Cat! Okay, let's jump this jump!

View Quote Rod Kimble: [waves to a taco while he's wandering through white nothingness] Hi. [a grilled cheese sandwich walks up to the taco and starts to fight with it] Ho, ho! Ho yeah! Yes! Yeah! [the taco is beating the grilled cheese sandwich with a folding chair] Finish him! Finish him! Yeah-heh-ha! [grilled cheese sandwich lies motionless with blood oozing out of the back of its head]
Denise: [distantly] Rod? Rod!
Rod Kimble: Denise? [wakes up gasping] Hoobastank!

View Quote Rod Kimble: Denise, you were right; the taco won.

View Quote Scrooge: Ho-ho-ho! A cooked goose for everyone! Ha-ha-ha!
Barry: It's Ebenezer Scrooge!
Scrooge: Yes! A cooked goose! Ha-ha-haaaaa!

View Quote "'Rod Kimble"': Kevin. Did you reinforce the takeoff ramp?
"'Kevin Powell"': No, we didn't have time.
"'Rod Kimble"': Wooh...[speaking to self] Soul of an Eagle. [Crashes]
"'Rico"': Oh Shit.
"'Kevin Powell"': Rod you okay?
"'Rod Kimble"': [throws up everywhere]

View Quote Rod Kimble:[Opens up the box with the new stuntman uniform] No Way!
Kevin Powell: You're gonna look like a champion Rod.
Rod Kimble: You guys, this thing is NUMBER ONE!!
Kevin Powell: Wait Rod, there's more.
Dave: Ye-ye-yeah uh, we were uh, worried that the moped might not be uh, fast enough to clear the jump so uh, [pulls back curtain to reveal motorcycle]
Rod Kimble: No way. Whoa, Dave, this thing is NUMBER ONE!!
Dave: Now I know she doesn't look like much, but trust me man, shes got some kick, a lot.
Rod Kimble: Alright.
Rico: There's one more thing Rod. I know how you like explosions and showmanship and stuff, so I rigged the whole jump with fireworks.
Rod Kimble: Cool!
Rico: And I got you this rock [presents him with a small rock wrapped in a bow] to represent ALL my hard work.
Rod Kimble: [less enthused] Oh, cool Rico. [grabs rock from Rico's palm] that's number one.
Rico: Yeah, you could pretty much just toss that after the fireworks go off, it's cool.
Rod Kimble: Thanks, thanks all of you.