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Hot Rod

Hot Rod quotes

32 total quotes





View Quote Rod: You look pretty.
Denise: What was that?
Rod: Uh, I said you look shitty. Goodnight!
View Quote Rod Kimble: All great men have mustaches!
Frank Powell: Yeah, but real men actually grow them!
Rod Kimble: You know I have a hormone disorder!
Frank Powell: Ooh!
View Quote Richardson: There is no tool in this pool.
View Quote Rod Kimble: We're gonna jump 15 buses.
Rico: Whoa, come on, Rod. That's nearly as many as Evel Knievel jumped.
Rod Kimble: It's actually one more than Evel Knievel jumped, Rico. I know. I checked. Online.
View Quote Rod Kimble: Now, who's with me? [everyone raises their hand] Good. Now let's celebrate.
View Quote Rico: I had another weird dream last night; this time it was the one where I am fighting like a thousand wizards and the only way to kill them is to punch them as hard as I can in the face, and after I finally finished the last of them all, their wizard wives came out and just wanted me to have sex with them... which is kinda weird.
View Quote Rod Kimble: I thought it would be fun if we all went around and said our name and a little something about ourselves. I'll start. My name is Rod and I like to party. Alright. Dave, you're up.
Dave: Uh, hi, uh, my name is Dave, and, uh, I like to party.
Rod Kimble: Uh, no Dave. I just said that I party so maybe you could do something different from me.
Dave: My name is Dave, and I am the stuntman.
Rod Kimble: You know what, let's move on. Rico, you're up.
Rico: Uh, hello. I'm Rico and I like to party.
Rod Kimble: Yeah, uh, Rico, what'd I just say to Dave?
Rico: Who?
Rod Kimble: Dave.
Kevin Powell: I like to party, and I'm Rod.
Rod Kimble: No, you're Kevin!
Kevin Powell: Right. Kevin. I party.
Rod Kimble: No. No you don't. Okay, nobody parties but me.
Dave: Yes. And we party.
Rod Kimble: No!
Rico: Yeah, just Rod.
Rod Kimble: Yes!
Rico: And me.
Rod Kimble: No! I'm the only one who parties!
Kevin Powell: I'm pretty sure I've partied before.
Rod Kimble: No, Kevin, I know for a fact you don't party. Okay, you do NOT party!
Kevin Powell: You're right. Dave is the party guy.
Dave: Huh-huh, sweet.
Rod Kimble: Oh my god, shut up! Okay, I'm just gonna do it for you. Denise, this is the crew. Dave's the mechanic, Rico makes the ramps, and Kevin is team manager slash videographer. None of them party, right? Got it? Okay. Let's party.
View Quote Rod Kimble: My safe word will be whiskey [enunciates the h].
Kevin Powell: [confused] Sorry, Rod, what was that?
Rod Kimble: [same pronunciation] Whiskey.
Kevin Powell: [still confused] Don't you mean whiskey?
Rod Kimble: Hwhat?
Kevin Powell: You're saying it weird.
Rod Kimble: Saying hwhat hweird?
Kevin Powell: All of it.
Rod Kimble: Hwhere do you get off?
Kevin Powell: I just don't get why you're saying it that way.
Rod Kimble: Hwhy am I saying hwhat hwhat hway?
Kevin Powell: Forget it.
Rod Kimble: I hwill! I hwill forget it!
View Quote Rod Kimble: Whoa, whiskey! Whiskey! Whiiskeeeeeeeeeey! Whiskeeey! Whiskeeeeey! [crashes into a parked RV]
View Quote Rico: Oh shit!
Denise: Rod! Are you okay?
Rod Kimble: Ooohhh...the safety word didn't help.
View Quote Kevin Powell: Hey, Rod, what's that song about grandma getting run over by a reindeer?
Rod Kimble: Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer?
Kevin Powell: No...
View Quote Denise: Oh, Rod. What were you going to ask me?
Rod Kimble: Oh, right. I was gonna ask you who you think would win in a fight between... a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco.
Denise: Is that what you were really going to ask me?
Rod Kimble: Yes.
Denise: Um, grilled cheese. But only in a fair fight. If it was prison rules, I'd put my money on the taco.
Rod Kimble: Wow, that's pretty racist, but correct.
View Quote Rod Kimble: [whispering] Frank. I know you're sleeping but I just wanted you to know the training is going really great. My reflexes are sharp, I'm crazy agile, and I have a date. So, anyways, that's the update. Sleep tight. [turns around]
Frank Powell: Who're you talking to?
Rod Kimble: Haaah! Haaaaaah!
View Quote Rod Kimble: Hey, Denise, have I ever shown you a picture of my dead dad?
Denise: No.
Rod Kimble: Oh, you've gotta see it. He's super dead.
Denise: That's him?
Rod Kimble: Yeah
Denise: [giggles] He looks so nice. He was a stuntman?
Rod Kimble: Oh, yeah. He used to work for Evel Knievel, testing his bikes before big jumps. He would do the jumps first to make sure they were safe and let Evel come in and get all the glory. Then after a while the old man said, "To hell with that. I want the credit I deserve." So one afternoon, he set out to jump ten milk trucks. He nailed the take-off, but when he landed, something terrible happened. His front tire exploded like a cannonball, and his handle bars went straight through his head. Blood was everywhere. His teeth were ground down to a powder, and the front of his face exploded out the back of his skull. He died instantly...the next day.
View Quote Rod Kimble: [to Kevin] You're the next Douglas Bubbletrousers!