Harvey quotes

View Quote The Taxi Driver: ...I've been driving this route for 15 years. I've brought them out here to get that stuff, and I've drove them home after they had it. It changes them... On they way out here, they sit back and enjoy the ride. They talk to me, some times we stop and watch the sunset, and look at the birds fly. And sometimes we stop and watch the birds when there ain't no birds. And look at the sunset when its raining. We have a swell time. And I always get a big tip. But afterwards, uh oh! ...They crab, crab, crab. They yell at me. Watch the lights. Watch the brakes, Watch the intersection. They scream at me to hurry. They got no faith in me, or my buggy. Yet, it's the same cab, the same driver. And we're going back over the very same road. It's no fun. And no tips... After this he'll be a perfectly normal human being and you know what stinkers they are.

View Quote Myrtle Mae Simmons: Oh, mother, people get run over by trucks every day. Why can't something like that happen to Uncle Elwood?

View Quote Dr. Chumley: So, you gave him a pass, Dr. Sanderson?! Perhaps they neglected to tell you at medical school that a rabbit has large pointed ears!?! Do you know what you've done? You've allowed a psychopathic case to walk out of here and roam around with an overgrown white rabbit! You've laid me open to a lawsuit! I shall have to do something I haven't done for fifteen years! I'll have to go after this man, Dowd, and bring him back! But when I do, Dr. Sanderson, your connection with this institution will have ended - as of that moment!

View Quote Dr. Chumley: I'm going over to get your brother and bring him back and take him to the sanitarium where he belongs. I want to observe the expression on his face when he talks to this rabbit. He does talk to the rabbit you say?

View Quote Wilson: [Reading from an encyclopedia] "P-O-O-K-A. Pooka. From old Celtic mythology, a fairy spirit in animal form, always very large. The pooka appears here and there, now and then, to this one and that one. A benign but mischievous creature. Very fond of rumpots, crackpots, and how are you, Mr. Wilson?" [Inverts and shakes the encyclopedia] 'How are you, Mr. Wilson?' Who in the encyclopedia wants to know?

View Quote Mailman: Lovely day, isn't it?
Elwood P. Dowd: Every day is a lovely day.

View Quote Dr. Sanderson: Think carefully, Dowd. Didn't you know somebody, sometime, someplace with the name of Harvey? Didn't you ever know anybody by that name?
Elwood P. Dowd: No, no, not one, Dr. Maybe that's why I always had such hopes for it.

View Quote Veta Louise Simmons: Judge Gaffney, is that all those doctors do in places like that - think about sex?
Judge Gaffney: I don't know.
Veta Louise Simmons: Because if it is they ought to be ashamed of themselves. It's all in their heads anyway. Why don't they get out and take long walks in the fresh air?

View Quote Wilson: Who's Harvey?
Miss Kelly: A white rabbit, six feet tall.
Wilson: Six feet?
Elwood P. Dowd: Six feet three and a half inches. Now let's stick to the facts.

View Quote Mr. Cracker: What can I do for you, Mr. Dowd?
Elwood P. Dowd: What did you have in mind?

View Quote [Elwood bumps into an old friend he hasn't seen for some time]
Elwood P. Dowd: You've been away.
Mr. Miggles: For 90 days. Been doin' a job for the state. Makin' license plates.
Elwood P. Dowd: Oh, is that so? Interesting work?
Mr. Miggles: I can take it or leave it alone.
Elwood P. Dowd: Oh, I see.
Mr. Miggles: I did a job for 'em last year too. Helpin' 'em build a road.

View Quote Mrs. Ethel Chauvenet: Does Elwood see anybody these days?
Veta Louise Simmons: Oh, yes, Aunt Ethel, Elwood sees somebody.

View Quote Dr. Sanderson: I want you to telephone this Elwood P. Dowd right away. His sister's condition is serious.
Miss Kelly: Uh - but, Doctor, I --
Dr. Sanderson: He'll have to sign these commitment papers for her.
Miss Kelly: But I didn't know the woman needed the treatment! She said it was her brother!
Dr. Sanderson: Of course she did! That's the oldest dodge in the world. Always used by a cunning type of psychopath. She knew her brother was about to commit her so she came down here to discredit him. Get him on the phone, please.
Miss Kelly: But, Doctor, I thought the woman was all right, so I had Wilson take the brother up to Number Twenty-four - South Wing, G. He's there now.
Dr. Sanderson: You had Wilson take the brother in?! Come on, Miss Kelly, no gags, please!You're not serious, are you?
Miss Kelly: Oh, I did, Doctor, I - I did. Doctor, I'm terribly sorry.
Dr. Sanderson: Oh, you're terribly sorry! Well, that's fine! That - that fixes everything! That's just wonderful! No - oh, no! Kelly! Kelly, do you realize what you've done? This man Dowd can sue us for false commitment! He can own the whole sanitarium -- and I'll be kicked out of here faster than you can say stupid, incompetent and inefficient!
...
Miss Kelly: Oh, I'll tell Dr. Chumley you had nothing to do with it - it was all my fault! You're the last person in the world I'd ever want anything like this to happen to. You know that, don't you, Dr. Sanderson?
Dr. Sanderson: Miss Kelly, this is hardly the time or place to go into the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet!
Miss Kelly: Lately, Doctor, there's never any time or place!
Dr. Sanderson: Jeepers! They may be putting him in the hydro room right now! Get up there quick and see if you can get him down here! I'll break the news gently to Dr. Chumley. He may want to handle this himself.
Miss Kelly: Well what shall I say to Mr. Dowd? What do I do? He'll probably be so furious he'll refuse to come down here.
Dr. Sanderson: Look, Miss Kelly. He's probably fit to be tied, but he's a man, isn't he?
Miss Kelly: I guess so. His name's Mister!
Dr. Sanderson: Well, then, go into your old routine. You know, the eyes, the swish, the works. I'm immune to it, but I've seen it work on some people, some of the patients out here. Now, you get him down here, Kelly, if you have to do a striptease!

View Quote Dr. Sanderson: Dr. Chumley, I'm afraid there's been a serious error --
Dr. Chumley: Dr. Sanderson, we don't permit errors in this institution.

View Quote Wilson: I'll tell you something, Myrts.
Myrtle Mae Simmons: Yeah?
Wilson: You know, you not only got a nice build, but you got something else, too.
Myrtle Mae Simmons: Really? What?
Wilson: You got the screwiest uncle that ever stuck his puss inside our nuthouse.