N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Dr. Sanderson: I want you to telephone this Elwood P. Dowd right away. His sister's condition is serious.
Miss Kelly: Uh - but, Doctor, I --
Dr. Sanderson: He'll have to sign these commitment papers for her.
Miss Kelly: But I didn't know the woman needed the treatment! She said it was her brother!
Dr. Sanderson: Of course she did! That's the oldest dodge in the world. Always used by a cunning type of psychopath. She knew her brother was about to commit her so she came down here to discredit him. Get him on the phone, please.
Miss Kelly: But, Doctor, I thought the woman was all right, so I had Wilson take the brother up to Number Twenty-four - South Wing, G. He's there now.
Dr. Sanderson: You had Wilson take the brother in?! Come on, Miss Kelly, no gags, please!You're not serious, are you?
Miss Kelly: Oh, I did, Doctor, I - I did. Doctor, I'm terribly sorry.
Dr. Sanderson: Oh, you're terribly sorry! Well, that's fine! That - that fixes everything! That's just wonderful! No - oh, no! Kelly! Kelly, do you realize what you've done? This man Dowd can sue us for false commitment! He can own the whole sanitarium -- and I'll be kicked out of here faster than you can say stupid, incompetent and inefficient!
Miss Kelly: Oh, I'll tell Dr. Chumley you had nothing to do with it - it was all my fault! You're the last person in the world I'd ever want anything like this to happen to. You know that, don't you, Dr. Sanderson?
Dr. Sanderson: Miss Kelly, this is hardly the time or place to go into the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet!
Miss Kelly: Lately, Doctor, there's never any time or place!
Dr. Sanderson: Jeepers! They may be putting him in the hydro room right now! Get up there quick and see if you can get him down here! I'll break the news gently to Dr. Chumley. He may want to handle this himself.
Miss Kelly: Well what shall I say to Mr. Dowd? What do I do? He'll probably be so furious he'll refuse to come down here.
Dr. Sanderson: Look, Miss Kelly. He's probably fit to be tied, but he's a man, isn't he?
Miss Kelly: I guess so. His name's Mister!
Dr. Sanderson: Well, then, go into your old routine. You know, the eyes, the swish, the works. I'm immune to it, but I've seen it work on some people, some of the patients out here. Now, you get him down here, Kelly, if you have to do a striptease!
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