HEY BLONDIE! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?! JUST A DIRTY SON OF A B- [gets cut off by the ending music]
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly quotes
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No-Legged Soldier
Hand me down a whiskey!
Stevens You're... from Baker... Tell Baker that I told him all that I know already. Tell him I want to live in peace, understand? That it's no use to go on tormenting me! I know nothing at all about that case of coins. Now that gold has disappeared, but if he'd listened, we could have avoided this altogether. I went to the Army court; there were no witnesses. They couldn't uncover any more. I can't tell Baker what happened to the money; go back and tell him that!
Like a little music with your meal, Tuco?
Music? Yeah, it's very good. It's very good for the digestion.
Baker Here, this is for you. You did a good job for me. [hands over a purse]
Oh I almost forgot. He paid me a thousand. I think his idea was that I kill you. [they both laugh] But you know the pity is when I'm paid, I always follow my job through. You know that.
Baker Noo! Angel Eyes!
I thought three was the perfect number.
I've got six more bullets in my gun.
Huh. Isn't three the perfect number?
Mm... yeah. But I've got six more bullets in my gun.
Would you talk?
No... probably not.
You may run the risks, my friend, but I do the cutting. We cut down my percentage - uh, cigar? - liable to interfere with my aim.
But if you miss you had better miss very well. Whoever double-crosses me and leaves me alive, he understands nothing about Tuco.
Bounty Hunter #2 [three bounty hunters have cornered Tuco]
No! No pistol, amigo!
Mexican Bounty Hunter
[holding a wanted poster]
Hey, amigo! You know you have a face beautiful enough to be worth $2000?
Captain Clinton
Soon you can join the gallant heroes of Branston bridge. We have two attacks a day.
Two attacks a day?
Cpt. Clinton
Sure! The Rebs have decided that damn bridge is the key to this whole area — Stupid, useless bridge! A flyspeck on the headquarters' maps — and the headquarters has declared we must take that ridiculous flyspeck even if all of us are killed. Otherwise, the key will get rusty and just be a spot on the wall. And that's not all. Both sides want the bridge intact! Intact is how the south wants it, and we want it intact too. You'll all turn to dust, but one thing is sure, boys: Branston bridge will stand unbroken.
Captain Harper For the last time, Sergeant, I'm telling you I want the prisoners treated as prisoners. No more brutality.
There's hundreds of prisoners out there and only a few men to guard 'em. Now what am I supposed to do? I have to have respect.
Cpt. Harper I think that you'll manage to gain their respect by treating them better.
Are our men treated that well in Andersonville camp?
Cpt. Harper I don't give a goddamn what they do in Andersonville. While I'm in charge here the prisoners are not to be tortured, or cheated, or murdered.
That an accusation?
Cpt. Harper Sergeant, gangrene is eating my leg away, not my eyes. I know the prisoners here are being robbed systematically. I know there's scum around who are bivouacked near the camp, waiting for someone to deliver this loot. But as long as I'm commandant I won't permit any such trickery. Am I clear?
Yes, just as long as you're the commandant.
Cpt. Harper Yes, Sergeant. I know this leg means I won't last very long, but I pray I can manage to have enough time to amass evidence to bring to a court-martial all those who discredit and dishonor the uniform of the Union!
I wish you luck.
Half-soldier
All I know is Carson re-enlisted. The poor guy's minus an eye. He lives with a girl called Maria, who'll tell you. She's a fresh young whore in the territory.
One Armed Man
I've been looking for you for 8 months. Whenever I should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I find you in exactly the position that suits me. I had lots of time to learn to shoot with my left.
That could be cannon fire.
Cannon fire or storm, it's all the same to you. [holds a noose] You ever see this before, my friend? Throw it over the roof beam! That's it. Now get on that. [Blondie steps onto a stool.] That's right. Now make sure the rope is tight. It's got to hold the weight of a pig. Now put the rope around your neck. That’s very good! It's too big for your neck, huh? We’ll fix that right away. I have another system, a little different than yours. I don't shoot the rope. I shoot the legs off the stool. Adios.