Janine Melnitz quotes

[after the team finally gets their first job] WE GOT ONE!!!

[answering a customer] Ghostbusters, whaddaya want?!

[answering the door and seeing a cop there] Dropping off or picking up?

Teenage Nerd:[Venkman has just administered a static electric shock to him] HEY!! I'm getting a little TIRED of this!!!
Dr. Peter Venkman: You volunteered, didn't you?! We're paying you, aren't we?
Teenage Nerd: Yeah, but I didn't know you were going to give me electric shocks!! What are you trying to prove here, anyway?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm studying the effect of negative reinforcement on ESP ability.
Teenage Nerd: THE EFFECT?!! I'll tell you what the effect is! IT'S PISSING ME OFF!!!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well then maybe my theory is correct!!!
Teenage Nerd: You can KEEP the five bucks, I'VE HAD IT!!
Dr. Peter Venkman: I WILL, Mister!! (Teenage Nerd slams the door behind him on his way out.) You may as well get used to that. That's the kind of resentment your gift is gonna provoke in a lot of people.
Teenage Girl: You really think I've got it, Dr. Venkman?
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're no fluke, Jennifer.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Hey Egon, you know, this reminds me of the time that you tried to drill a hole through your head.
Dr. Egon Spengler: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Have you, or any member of your family, ever been diagnosed schizophrenic...mentally incompetent?

Alice (librarian): My uncle thought he was Saint Jerome.

Dr. Peter Venkman: I'd call that a big yes.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: [about to capture their first ghost] Get her!

Dr. Peter Venkman: [later, when the ghost has scared them out of their wits] 'Get her'? That was your whole plan? 'Get her'? Tee hee.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Are you guys serious about this catching a ghost?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I'm always serious.
(pause)
Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon, I'm gonna take back some of the things I said about you. (Takes out a candy bar and hands it to Egon) Here...you've...you've earned it.
(Ray chuckles at both of them)

Dr. Peter Venkman: For whatever reasons, Ray, call it... fate, call it luck, call it karma, I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown outta this dump.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: For what purpose?
Dr. Peter Venkman: To go into business for ourselves. [Takes a swig of schnapps]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: This ecto-containment unit that Spengler and I talked about is going to take a load of bread to capitalize. Where are we going to get the money?
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Takes another swig] I don't know, Ray. I don't know.

Dr. Peter Venkman: [exiting a bank] You're not going to lose the house. Everybody has three mortgages nowadays.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I know, but at 19%? You didn't even bargain with the guy.

Dana Barrett: That's the bedroom... But nothing ever happened in there.

Dr. Peter Venkman: What a crime...

Dana Barrett: You know, you don't act like a scientist.
Dr. Peter Venkman: They're usually pretty stiff.
Dana Barrett: You're more like a game show host.

Dr. Peter Venkman: I know. I'll prove myself to you.
Dana Barrett: That's not necessary.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Then you'll say, 'Pete Venkman's a guy who can get things done. I wonder what makes him tick? I wonder if he'd be interested in knowing what makes me tick.' I bet you'll be thinking about me, after I'm gone.
Dana Barrett: I bet I will. [shoves him out]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [pushes door back open] No kiss?

Man at Elevator: What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut?
Dr. Peter Venkman: [chuckles] No, we're exterminators. Someone saw a ****roach up on twelfth [the twelfth floor].
Man at Elevator: That's gotta be some ****roach.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Bite your head off, man.
Dr. Ray Stantz: [entering elevator] Going up?
Man at Elevator: I'll take the next one.
(Inside the elevator.)
Dr. Ray Stantz: You it' just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I blame myself.
Dr. Peter Venkman: So do I.
Dr. Ray Stantz: Well, no sense worrying about it now.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
Dr. Ray Stantz: Yeah. Well, let's get ready. Switch me on.
(Egon turns on Ray's pack. It emits a strange sound and begins humming. Egon backs away from it.)

Dr. Peter Venkman [nervously staring down Slimer]: Come in... Ray.
Dr. Rawmond Stantz: Venkman? I saw it, I saw it, I saw it!!
Dr. Peter Venkman: It's right here, Ray. It's looking at me.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Ugly little spud, isn't he?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I think he can hear you, Ray.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Don't move, it won't hurt you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: VENKMAN!!! Venkman!! Venkman!! Pete! Are you okay?
Dr. Peter Venkman: He slimed me.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: That's GREAT!!! ACTUAL PHYSICAL CONTACT!!! Can you move?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [over walkie-talkie] Ray, come in please.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I feel so funky!

Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm a little fuzzy on the whole "good/bad" thing here. What do you mean, "bad"?

Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr. Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal!
Dr. Peter Venkman: That's bad. Okay. All right, important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?
Winston Zeddemore: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.

Dana Barrett: [possessed by the Gatekeeper] Are you the Keymaster?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Not that I know of. [Door immediately slams in his face]

Dana Barrett: [possessed by the Gatekeeper] Do you want this body?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Is this a trick question?

Dana Barrett: There is no Dana... there is only Zuul.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh Zuulie, you little nut, now, come on....
Dana Barrett: [deep, monstrous voice] There is no Dana, only ZUUL!
Dr. Peter Venkman: What a lovely singing voice you must have.

Janine Melnitz: Would you like some coffee, Mr. Tully?
Louis Tully: [To Egon] Do I?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Yes, have some.
Louis Tully: Yes, have some!

Louis Tully: [after the Containment Unit explodes thanks to Walter Peck] This is it! This is the sign!
Janine Melnitz: Yeah, it's a sign alright. We're going out of business!

Walter Peck: Captain, I want these men arrested! They're in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act! And this explosion is the direct result of it!
Dr. Egon Spengler: YOUR MOTHER!!!

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Cold-riveted girders, with cores of pure selenium.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to everyone who's not a Ghostbuster] Everyone getting this so far?
So what? I guess they just don't make them like they used to.
Dr. Raymond Stantz No! Nobody ever made them like this! The architect was either a certified genius or an authentic wacko!

Winston Zeddmore: Hey, wait a minute. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hold it! Now, are we actually gonna go before a federal judge, and tell him that some moldy Babylonian God is going to drop in on Central Park West, and start tearing up the city?!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Sumerian, not Babylonian.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah. Big difference.
Winston Zeddmore: No offense, guys, but I've gotta get my own lawyer.

Louis Tully: I am the Keymaster!
Dana Barrett: I am the Gatekeeper!

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Everything was fine [with our system] until our power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: [To Peter] Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes, it's true. [slight pause] This man has no dick.
[Peck then tries to attack Dr. Venkman but is kept away by others in the room]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, that's what I heard!
[Note: Censored version has Venkman saying "This man is some kind of rodent, I don't know which".]

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the sky! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddmore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - MASS HYSTERIA!
Mayor: Enough! I get the point! And what if you're wrong?
Dr. Peter Venkman: If we're wrong, then nothing happens. We'll go to jail. Peacefully. Quietly. We'll enjoy it. But if we're right, and we can stop this thing... Lenny... you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Hey. Where do these stairs go?
Dr. Peter Venkman: They go up.

[Preparing to confront Gozer]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, whatever it is, it's gotta get by us!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Right!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Go get her, Ray!
[Ray glares at him]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian? Good evening. As a duly-designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the next convenient parallel dimension.
Dr. Peter Venkman: That oughta do it, thanks very much Ray.
Gozer: Are you a god?
[Ray looks at the others, who all nod] Dr. Raymond Stantz: [hesitant] Uh...no.
Gozer: Then...DIEEE!!
[Gozer begins shocking the Ghostbusters with lighting]
Winston Zeddmore: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES!!"

[After believing they've defeated Gozer] Winston Zeddmore: We had the tools, we had the talent!
Dr. Peter Venkman: It's Miller Time.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: [sigh of resignation] It's the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [while seeing Stay-Puft walk towards the building and the Ghostbusters] Well, that's something you don't see every day.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something that I loved from my childhood. Something that would never ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay-Puft.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Nice thinking, Ray.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We used to roast Stay-Puft Marshmallows, by the fire at Camp Waconda.
Dr. Peter Venkman [looks at Egon]: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon. What have you got left?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Sorry, Venkman. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Don't look directly at the trap!
Dr. Egon Spengler: I looked at the trap, Ray!

  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the