Pogue Colonel: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?
Sergeant Joker: A peace symbol, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Where'd you get it?
Sergeant Joker: I don't remember, sir.
Pogue Colonel: What is that you've got written on your helmet?
Sergeant Joker: "Born to Kill", sir.
Pogue Colonel: You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?
Sergeant Joker: No, sir.
Pogue Colonel: What is it supposed to mean?
Sergeant Joker: I don't know, sir
Pogue Colonel: You don't know very much, do you?
Sergeant Joker: No, sir
Pogue Colonel: You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you.
Sergeant Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.
Sergeant Joker: I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.
Pogue Colonel: The what?
Sergeant Joker: The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Whose side are you on, son?
Sergeant Joker: Our side, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Don't you love your country?
Sergeant Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Then how about getting with the program? Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win?
Sergeant Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.
Sergeant Joker: Aye-aye, sir.

Da Nang Hooker: Hey, you got girlfriend Vietnam? .... Me so horny. Me love you long time.

[narrating] Parris Island, South Carolina. The Marine Corps Training Depot. An eight-week college for the phony tough and the crazy brave.

[being interviewed] I wanted to see exotic Vietnam... the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill!

Private Joker: Are those... live rounds?
Private Gomer Pyle: Seven-six-two millimeter, full metal jacket.
[Pyle smiles grotesquely.]
Private Joker: Leonard, if Hartman comes in here and catches us, we'll both be in a world of shit.
Private Gomer Pyle: I am... in a world... of shit!

If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is poontang.

Door Gunner: Get some! Get some! Get some, get some! Yeah, YEAH! C'mon, C'mon! Get some! [whilst shooting wildly at civilians]

Door Gunner: Anyone who runs is a V.C.! Anyone who stands still... is a well-disciplined V.C.!

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training... you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human ****ing beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on ****s, kikes, wops, or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that?

Sergeant Joker: Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
Sergeant Cowboy: Hey, start the cameras. This is "Vietnam: The Movie."
Private Eightball: Yeah, Joker can be John Wayne. I'll be a horse.
Donlon: T.H.E. Rock can be a rock.
T.H.E. Rock: I'll be Ann-Margret.
Doc Jay: Animal Mother can be a rabid buffalo.
Crazy Earl: I'll be General Custer.
Private Rafterman: Well, who'll be the Indians?
Animal Mother: Hey, we'll let the gooks play the Indians.

One for the commandant! And one for the corps! Pull! Pull! *private drops from pullup bar* I guess the corps don't get theirs.

Crazy Earl: These are great days we're living, bros. We are jolly green giants, walking the Earth with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we're gonna miss not having anyone around that's worth shooting.

[narrating] My thoughts drift back to erect nipple wet dreams about Mary Jane Rottencrotch and the Great Homecoming **** Fantasy. I am so happy that I am alive, in one piece, and short. I'm in a world of shit... yes. But I am alive. And I am not afraid.

Private Cowboy: Don't shit me, man!
Private Joker: I wouldn't shit you. You're my favorite turd!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir!" Do you maggots understand that?
Recruits: [in unison] Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.
Recruits: [louder] Sir, yes, sir!