Fletch quotes

45 total quotes (ID: 222)


If you haven't guessed, there's been a lot of drug traffic on the beach lately. And I'm not talking about Robitussin and No-Doz...I'm talking about the hard stuff. I've been posing as an affable, minor league junkie in order to get to the bottom of it. It hasn't been easy. I don't shower much.

You know, if you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.

For another grand, I'll let you take me out to dinner.

[to Gail Stanwyck, who answers the door wearing a towel] Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

I would have been here sooner, but a manure-spreader jackknifed on the Santa Ana. Gawdawful mess. You should see my shoes.

[after paying his ex-wife's attorney, Fletch walks him to the door] Keep ten for yourself. Go and get yourself a nice piece of ass.

Hey, don't talk to me that way, assface. I don't work for you yet.

Tierra Del Fuego.

In the court ruling US vs. Fishbine, a man subjected to potential incineration while wearing another man's suit is entitled to $10,000 worth of airline tickets. It's an obscure ruling, but a very important one. To me.

Mr. Stanwyk's parents Marvin and Velma of Provo, were unable to attend the wedding. Those are three names I enjoy; Marvin, Velma, and Provo.

Hey! I think all of our problems may have just been solved. Ed McMahon. Think I just won a million bucks. Yeahhahhah, Irwin M. Fletcher you choose. Woo wee! Oh boy, I lost. Again. Sorry.

[Corrupt Police Chief Karlin surprises Stanwyk holding Fletch at gunpoint - said in the dryest manner possible] Thank God. The police.

Hey that's you and Tommy Lasorda... [smashes picture] I hate Tommy Lasorda.

Can I call my mother? Tell her how much I love her?

[narrating] As I pulled up to my palatial, imitation apartment building, I noticed the familiar red Oldsmo-Buick of Mr. Arnold T. Pants, Esquire. Attorney for the former Mrs. Irwin M. Fletcher. Time to use the service entrance.