Fletch Lives quotes

45 total quotes

Fletch Lives

View Quote It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. I am NOT a big man.

View Quote Jimmy Lee Farnsworth: Erwin, admit that you are a sinner.
Fletch: Uh. Well, I've sinned. I didn't take any Polaroids or anything. But, yeah, I've sinned.
Jimmy Lee Farnsworth: The Lord forgives ya!
Fletch: Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Amen. What? Other sins? Uh, I parked in a handicap spot on my way up here. Actually, on a handicap person. I told him I'd be back in five minutes, so that's not such a big deal.

View Quote You shouldn't wear so much eye shadow. It makes you look slutty.

View Quote (narrating) All I needed now was a computer. And a ten year old kid to teach me how to use it.

View Quote I've been foolishly squandering my salary on food and heat.

View Quote I borrowed your toothbrush. I would have used your razor but it looks like you've been doing some gardening with it.

View Quote (narrating) I never liked guns, especially when they're pointed at me.

View Quote Sheriff: You care ta make a statmunt?
Fletch: (Sighs) Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.

View Quote Guard: Sir this is a restricted area!
Fletch: I'm happy for ya, most people live in terrible neighborhoods.

View Quote Southern Belle: (to Fletch) They sure do love you Colonel.
Fletch: (looking at her bosom) And I love them, too!

View Quote (narrating) The Reverend Farnsworth was Becky's father, but I wasn't going to hold that against her. If I was going to hold anything against her, it wouldn't be her father.

View Quote Supervisor: And you are?
Fletch: I are pissed!

View Quote Becky was a good girl and didn't need to be spanked... dammit.

View Quote (narrating) The morgue proved to be a dead end. But I guess it is for most people.

View Quote What can I do to y- for you?