Fletch Lives quotes

45 total quotes

Fletch Lives

View Quote It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. I am NOT a big man.

View Quote Jimmy Lee Farnsworth: Erwin, admit that you are a sinner.
Fletch: Uh. Well, I've sinned. I didn't take any Polaroids or anything. But, yeah, I've sinned.
Jimmy Lee Farnsworth: The Lord forgives ya!
Fletch: Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Amen. What? Other sins? Uh, I parked in a handicap spot on my way up here. Actually, on a handicap person. I told him I'd be back in five minutes, so that's not such a big deal.

View Quote You shouldn't wear so much eye shadow. It makes you look slutty.

View Quote I borrowed your toothbrush. I would have used your razor but it looks like you've been doing some gardening with it.

View Quote (narrating) All I needed now was a computer. And a ten year old kid to teach me how to use it.

View Quote I've been foolishly squandering my salary on food and heat.

View Quote (narrating) The Reverend Farnsworth was Becky's father, but I wasn't going to hold that against her. If I was going to hold anything against her, it wouldn't be her father.

View Quote Guard: Sir this is a restricted area!
Fletch: I'm happy for ya, most people live in terrible neighborhoods.

View Quote (narrating) I never liked guns, especially when they're pointed at me.

View Quote Supervisor: And you are?
Fletch: I are pissed!

View Quote Sheriff: You care ta make a statmunt?
Fletch: (Sighs) Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.

View Quote Southern Belle: (to Fletch) They sure do love you Colonel.
Fletch: (looking at her bosom) And I love them, too!

View Quote (narrating) The morgue proved to be a dead end. But I guess it is for most people.

View Quote Becky was a good girl and didn't need to be spanked... dammit.

View Quote What can I do to y- for you?