Fletch Lives

Fletch Lives quotes

45 total quotes (ID: 1051)

Fletch Lives


Calculus Entropy: Guess you'll be movin' in with me.
Fletch: Thanks, Cal. Look at the bright side. You won't have to bother dusting anymore.


Cindy Mae: (Turbulence) Oh Lord, what was that?
Fletch: We just clipped a Piper Cub. Pilot's okay, I just saw him parachuting.

They multiply by masturbation.

Sheriff: Were y'all doin' drugs?
Fletch: Just Bogle.
Sheriff: Bogle? What's Bogle?
Fletch: It's a very popular drug. Made from grapes.
Sheriff: You're under arrest.
Fletch: What's the charge?
Sheriff: Pissin' me off.
Fletch: Is that a felony or a misdimeanor?

These walls are deplaning at an alarming rate!

(narrating) Figuring out that the guy who dropped my watch in the swamp was the same guy who stole it at the morgue didn't take Sherlock Holmes... Larry Holmes could've figured that one out.

Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee Schwartz.

I've been foolishly squandering my salary on food and heat.

(narrating) Over the years, I found Mr. Underhill's credit card to be a useful tool, much like Underhill himself.

Jimmy Lee Farnsworth: Erwin, admit that you are a sinner.
Fletch: Uh. Well, I've sinned. I didn't take any Polaroids or anything. But, yeah, I've sinned.
Jimmy Lee Farnsworth: The Lord forgives ya!
Fletch: Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Amen. What? Other sins? Uh, I parked in a handicap spot on my way up here. Actually, on a handicap person. I told him I'd be back in five minutes, so that's not such a big deal.

It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. I am NOT a big man.

Man on Computer: Who are you?
Fletch: Hello, I'm Peter Lemon-Jello and they told me to tell you your house is on fire.
Man on Computer: Thank you!! Good bless you!!
Fletch: (to himself) Thank you for beliving this shit!

I believe Louisana is the Pelican State.

(narrating) The Reverend Farnsworth was Becky's father, but I wasn't going to hold that against her. If I was going to hold anything against her, it wouldn't be her father.

You shouldn't wear so much eye shadow. It makes you look slutty.