N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Epic Movie

Epic Movie quotes

49 total quotes

Multiple Characters

Peter: I want flabby grandma arms!

Peter: [as Superman] You shot me in the ****ing eye! That really hurts! Why would you do that? That was so unnecessary! You bastard!

Willy: Who wants to chew my gumballs?

Peter: Monobrow! Monobrow! King wants a monobrow!

Mr. Tumnus : Screw Gnarnia!

"Hermione": Hope you chicks are on the pill. Harry likes to get wasted, then show off his "sorcerer's stones". [farts]
Susan: They are definitely too old to still be doing this shit!

"Harry Potter": Welcome! My name is Harry Potter!
Susan: Aren't you a little old to still be in school?
"Harry Potter": Nonsense. I am but fourteen. [he looks at least 30] As are my two best friends, Ron and Hermione.

Edward: Now we're gonna be stuck here till we die.
Peter: Shut up, Edward. You're scaring her.
Edward: Don't tell me what to do! You're not my father!

Borat look-alike: Jagshemash! My name a Borat. You did it! You made moviefilm have happy ending. [the water wheel runs over the orphans] Not!

Ashton Kutcher look-a-like: Yes! *jumps in with camera crew* Yes! You just got Punk'd! Yes! Yes! Yeah, he did it! He did it! C'mere, say it to the camera! Say it to the camera, c'mon, say it right there! *Edward stutters* Say it!
Edward: I-I just... I just got Punk'd.
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: Ah, schwow!
*Change to Punk'd-like skit*:
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *making exaggerated moves mocking Ashton Kutcher's Punk'd skits* Yeah! We just Punk'd Edward! Schwow! Schwow! Yeah! That was awesome! Yeah! Yes! This thing, up here, it's all me, baby! The trucker hat! That's awesome! I did it! You love it! You'll take it! Punk'd him!
*Change back to previous scene*:
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *gibbering excitedly still over the joke* Oh, my gosh, that was really funny, oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! *he continues*
Edward: *yells in fury, Ashton still gibbering* Dude, you are so annoying!! *Punches Ashton, knocking him down and shutting him up*
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *gets up after a few seconds, resuming his gibberish and his crazy movements* But oh, my gosh! That was really funny! *he continues*
Edward: *keeps punching him, Ashton replying with a "Schwow!" with every punch, until Ashton falls over* Corny-ass trucker hat!
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *flicks snow up at Edward in a childish manner* Schwow! Schwow....

Paris Hilton look-alike: I'm so hot. [yells as she gets crushed by a falling Susan, who was thrown off the plane]

Willy: You're... mine now.

White Bitch: The kids have esca-pe-d.

Willy: Who wants to play with Willy?

Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Sit, bitch, I'm always yellin'! I'm Samuel mother****ing Jackson!