Epic Movie

Epic Movie quotes

49 total quotes (ID: 191)

Edward
Lucy
Multiple Characters


White Bitch: I hate those ****ing kids.


Ashton Kutcher look-a-like: Yes! *jumps in with camera crew* Yes! You just got Punk'd! Yes! Yes! Yeah, he did it! He did it! C'mere, say it to the camera! Say it to the camera, c'mon, say it right there! *Edward stutters* Say it!
Edward: I-I just... I just got Punk'd.
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: Ah, schwow!
*Change to Punk'd-like skit*:
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *making exaggerated moves mocking Ashton Kutcher's Punk'd skits* Yeah! We just Punk'd Edward! Schwow! Schwow! Yeah! That was awesome! Yeah! Yes! This thing, up here, it's all me, baby! The trucker hat! That's awesome! I did it! You love it! You'll take it! Punk'd him!
*Change back to previous scene*:
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *gibbering excitedly still over the joke* Oh, my gosh, that was really funny, oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! *he continues*
Edward: *yells in fury, Ashton still gibbering* Dude, you are so annoying!! *Punches Ashton, knocking him down and shutting him up*
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *gets up after a few seconds, resuming his gibberish and his crazy movements* But oh, my gosh! That was really funny! *he continues*
Edward: *keeps punching him, Ashton replying with a "Schwow!" with every punch, until Ashton falls over* Corny-ass trucker hat!
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *flicks snow up at Edward in a childish manner* Schwow! Schwow....

Silas: (in Latin) Habeas corpus. E pluribus unum. (English subtitles) I'm gonna drop you like K-Fed!

Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: I have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane!
Susan: Oh, I know, please help!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: I have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane!
Susan: I know...
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: I have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane!
Susan: Why do you keep saying that?
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Because internet bloggers love when I say "I have had it with these mother****ing snakes on this mother****ing plane!". I'm Samuel mother****ing Jackson!

[referring to a painting of Tom Hanks with his crazy hair in The Da Vinci Code] 'So lame the hair of Tom'... Lame... that's a seven letter word!

Holy shit, a talking beaver!

Harry Beaver: May I present the kings and queens of Gnarnia: Peter, the Heroic; Susan, the Just; Edward, the Loyal and Lucy, the Dumbshit!

White Bitch: Behold, my white castle. [she points to a White Castle restaurant across from them]
Edward: White Castle? I think I've been there before.

Edward: I even got a tattoo with your name on it. [takes off his shirt, exposing what appears to be 50 Cent's tattoo]
White Bitch: That looks more like 50 Cent's tattoo, you idiot.
Edward: Shit! They did the wrong one.

Edward: A chocolate river! Mmm! Mmm! Chocolate! Hahahaha!
Willy: That's actually the sewer line.

Silas: (in Latin) Et tu, Brute? (English subtitles) I'm Rick James, bitch!

[as the White Bitch pulls up in her turbo sled] Whoa, Stifler's mom! [unrated version] Whoa, MILF!

Silas: (in Latin) In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. (English subtitles) I'm gonna go Jackie Chan on your ass!

Silas: (in Latin) Urts-hay oh-say ood-gay! (English subtitles) Beat me like Bobby beats Whitney! (allegedly)

Captain Jack Swallows: I'll get you for this... you... you... Bitch!