Donnie Darko quotes

View Quote Dr. Lillian Thurman: Do you feel alone right now?
Donnie: I... I don't know... I mean, I'd like to believe that I'm not, but I just... I've just never seen any proof, so I... I just don't debate it anymore. You know, it's like I could spend my whole life debating it over and over again, weighting the pro's and con's and in the end, I still wouldn't have any proof, so I just... I just don't debate it anymore. Heh, it's absurd...
Dr. Thurman: The search for God is absurd?
Donnie: It is if everyone dies alone.
Dr. Thurman: Does that scare you?
Donnie: I don't wanna be alone.

View Quote Donnie: Ling Ling finds a wallet on the ground filled with money. She takes the wallet to the address on the driver's license but keeps the money inside the wallet. <Scoffs> I-'m sorry Mrs. Farmer. I don't get this.
Kitty Farmer: Just place an X on the Life Line in the appropriate place.
Donnie: No, I mean I know what to do, I just don't get this. You can't just lump things into two categories. Things aren't that simple.
Kitty: The Life Line is divided that way.
Donnie: Life isn't that simple. I mean who cares if Ling Ling returns the wallet and keeps the money? It has nothing to do with either fear or love.
Kitty: Fear and love are the deepest of human emotions.
Donnie: Okay. But you're not listening to me. There are other things that need to be taken into account. Like the whole spectrum of human emotion. You can't just lump everything into these two categories and then just deny everything else.
Kitty: If you don't complete the assignment you'll get a zero for the day.

View Quote [in a letter] Dear Roberta Sparrow, I have reached the end of your book and... there are so many things that I need to ask you. Sometimes I'm afraid of what you might tell me. Sometimes I'm afraid that you'll tell me that this is not a work of fiction. I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.

View Quote [Discussing Watership Down]
Karen Pomeroy: This could be the death of an entire way of life, the end of an era...
Donnie: Why should we care?
Karen Pomeroy: Because the rabbits are us, Donnie.
Donnie: Why should I mourn for a rabbit like he was human?
Karen Pomeroy: Are you saying that the death of one species is less tragic than another?
Donnie: Of course. The rabbit's not like us. It has no... keen look at something in the mirror, it has no history books, no photographs, no knowledge of sorrow or regret... I mean, I'm sorry, Miss Pomeroy, don't get me wrong; y'know, I like rabbits and all. They're cute and they're horny. And if you're cute and you're horny, then you're probably happy, in that you don't know who you are and why you're even alive. And you just wanna' have sex, as many times as possible, before you die... I mean, I just don't see the point in crying over a dead rabbit! Y'know, who... who never even feared death to begin with.
[Handing a copy of Watership Down to Donnie]
Karen Pomeroy [to Donnie]: Why don't you and Frank read this one together.

View Quote Sean Smith: Beer and pussy. That's all I need.
Ronald Fisher: Well we gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.
Sean Smith: Smurfette?
Ronald Fisher: Mmm-hmm [gulps beer]. Not some like tight-ass Middlesex chick, y'know? Like this cute little blonde that'll get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.
Sean Smith: [Nods Agreement] Hmm.
Donnie: Smurfette doesn't ****.
Ronald Fisher: That's bullshit. Smurfette ****s all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? It's because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.
Sean Smith: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.
Ronald Fisher: Okay well you know what then, she ****s them while Vanity watches, okay?
Sean Smith: Well what about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get into all the action.
Ronald Fisher: Yeah. What he does: He films the gangbang, later on...he beats off to the tape.
Donnie: [earnestly] First of all: Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette - Gargamel did! She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gangbang scenario - Huh! I - it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual, th-they don't even have...reproductive organs under those little...white...pants. That's what's so illogical, y'know, about being a Smurf. Y'know what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?
Sean Smith: [sighs] Dammit Donnie wh-why you gotta get so smart on us?

View Quote [reading his poem in class] A storm is coming, Frank says / A storm that will swallow the children / And I will deliver them from the kingdom of pain / I will deliver the children back to their doorsteps / And send the monsters back to the underground / I'll send them back to a place where no-one else can see them / Except for me / Because I am Donnie Darko.

View Quote Elizabeth Darko: Donnie, you're such a dick.
Donnie: Whoa, Elizabeth! A little hostile there. Maybe you should be the one in therapy. So Mom and Dad can pay someone $200 an hour to listen to all your thoughts, so we don't have to.
Elizabeth: OK, you want to tell Mom and Dad why you stopped taking your medication?
Donnie: You're such a ****ass!
Elizabeth: What?!
Rose Darko: Please.
Elizabeth: Did you just call me a “****ass”?
Rose: Elizabeth, that's enough.
Elizabeth: You can go suck a ****.
Donnie: Oh please tell me, Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a ****?
Elizabeth: You want me to tell you?
Rose: We will not have THIS at the dinner table.
Donnie: Please, tell me... I'm all ears.
[everyone pauses]
Samantha: What's a ****ass?

View Quote Emily Bates: Mom said the school is closed today because it's flooded, and there's feces everywhere!
Susie Bates: What are feces?
Emily Bates: Baby mice.
Susie Bates: Aww.

View Quote [Under hypnosis by Dr. Lilian Thurman]:
Dr. Lilian Thurman: What else makes you feel regret?
Donnie: [grins] That I did it again.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: You did it again?
Donnie: I flooded my school, and I burned down that pervert's house! [laughs] I've only got a few more days left before they catch me!
Dr. Lilian Thurman: Did Frank...tell you to do these things?
Donnie: I have to obey him, he saved my life! I have to obey him...or else I'll be left all alone. And then...then I won't be able to figure out what this is all about. I won't be able to kn...know his master plan.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: Do you mean...God's master plan? Do you now...believe in God?
Donnie: I have the power to build a time machine.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: How is that possible? [Donnie starts sniffling] How is...time travel...possible?
Donnie: The world is coming to an end...
Dr. Lilian Thurman: When is this going to happen?
Donnie: S...s...soon! [sniffling]
Dr. Lilian Thurman: [Donnie takes a teddy bear] What is going to happen?
Donnie: Frank is going to kill...
Dr. Lilian Thurman: Who is he going to kill? Who is he going to kill, Donnie?
Donnie: [looks up] I CAN SEE HIM RIGHT NOW!! [Frank is standing in front of him. Donnie gets a few disturbing visions]
Donnie: Sky is coming open...
Dr. Lilian Thurman: If the sky were to suddenly open up, there would be no law, there would be no rule. There would only be you and your memories. If this world were to end, there would only be you... and him... and no one else.

View Quote [Donnie tries to kiss Gretchen and she pulls away]
Donnie: Well I-I, sorry I...
Gretchen: Donnie wait...
Donnie: I like you a lot...
Gretchen: I just want it to be... at a time when... it...
Donnie: When what?
Gretchen: When it reminds me just...
Donnie: When it reminds you of how beautiful the world can be?
Gretchen: Yeah... [turns her head] and right now there's some fat guy over there staring at us.

View Quote Donnie: Do you want your sister to lose weight? Tell her to get off the couch, stop eating twinkies and maybe go out for field hockey. You know what? No one ever knows what they want to be when they grow up. You know it takes a little, little while to find that out, right, Jim? And you... yeah, you. Sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet? Well, you know what? Maybe... you should lift some weights, or uh, take a karate lesson and the next time he tries to do it, you kick him in the balls.
Jim Cunningham: Son... DO YOU SEE THIS? This is an Anger Prisoner. A textbook example. DO YOU SEE THE FEAR, PEOPLE? This boy is scared to death of the truth. Son, it breaks my heart to say this, but I believe you are a very troubled and confused young man. I believe you are searching for the answers in all the wrong places...
Donnie: You're right, actually. I am pretty- I'm, I'm pretty troubled and I'm, I'm pretty confused. But I. . .and I'm afraid. Really, really afraid. Really afraid. But I... I... I think you're the ****ing Antichrist.

View Quote [reading from Graham Greene's The Destructors] "It was as though this plan had been with him all his life, pondered through the seasons, now in his fifteenth year crystallized with the pain of puberty."

View Quote Principal Cole: Donald let me preface this by saying your Iowa test scores are intimidating... So, let's go over this again, what exactly did you say to Ms. Farmer?
Kitty Farmer: [interrupting] I'll tell you what he said - he asked me to forcibly insert the Lifeline exercise card into my anus!

View Quote Donnie: My parents didn't get me what I wanted for Christmas.
Dr. Lillian Thurman: What did you want?
Donnie: Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Dr. Thurman: And how did you feel, being denied these hungry, hungry hippos?
Donnie: Regret.

View Quote Elizabeth: I'm voting for Dukakis.
Eddie: Perhaps when you have children of your own that need braces, and you can't afford them because half of your husband's paycheck goes to the federal government, you'll regret that decision.
Elizabeth: I'm not gonna squeeze one out until I'm thirty.
Donnie: Will you still be working at Yarn Barn 'cause that's a great place to raise children.