[Bethany, Jay and Silent Bob are at a diner]
Jay: So do you have a friend for Silent Bob, or are you gonna do us both? If so, I'm first; I hate sloppy seconds.
Bethany: You're a man of principle. Jersey's pretty far from McHenry; what brought the two of you here?
Jay: Some **** named John Hughes. [Bob looks at Jay with disdain]
Bethany: "Sixteen Candles" John Hughes?
Jay: You know that guy too? That ****in' guy; made this flick "Sixteen Candles". Not bad; there's tits in it but no bush, but Ebert [gestures to Bob] over here don't give a shit about that kinda thing since he's all in love with this John Hughes guy. Lines up to go to every one of his ****in' movies. ****in' "Breakfast Club", where all these stupid kids actually show up for detention. ****in' "Weird Science", where this babe wants to take her gear off and get down, but, oh no, she don't 'cause it's a PG movie. And ****in' "Pretty In Pink", which I can't even watch with this tubby bitch anymore, 'cause every time the part comes up where the redhead hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbing like a little bitch with a skinned knee and shit, and there's nothin' worse than hearin' a ****in' fat man weep.
Bethany: What exactly brought you to Illinois?
Jay: See, all these movies take place in this small town called Shermer, Illinois, where the honeys are top-shelf, but all the dudes are whiny pussies--[Bob gestures to him]--except for Judd Nelson; he was ****ing harsh. But best of all, there's no one dealin', man. Then it hits me, we could live like fat rats if we're the blunt collection in Shermer, Illinois! So we collected some money we were owed, and caught a bus. You know what the **** we found out when we got there? [Bethany shakes her head] There is no Shermer in Illinois. Movies are ****ing bullshit.
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