N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

[The Joker interrupts the meeting of mob bosses]
Joker: [fake laughter done in a deadpan voice] Ha ha ha ha, hahaha, ha, ha, ha, oh, a-hee-hee, ha ha, oh, hee hee, hee ha, ahaha. [returns to normal voice] I thought my jokes were bad.
Gambol: Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off.
Joker: How 'bout a magic trick? [he slams a pencil into the table, point first] I'm gonna make this pencil disappear.
[Gambol's henchman tries to attack him; in one swift motion the Joker then slams the man's head into the pencil, forcing the entire pencil through his eye socket; the man falls over dead]
Joker: Ta-daa! [looks at where the pencil was with mock surprise] It''s gone! Oh, and by the way, the suit? It wasn't cheap. You ought to know, you bought it.
Gambol: That's it. [rises from his chair]
The Chechen: I want to hear, proposition.
Joker: Let's wind the clock back a year. These cops and lawyers wouldn't dare cross any of you. I mean, what happened? Did-did your balls drop off, hm? You see, a guy like me...
Gambol: A freak.
[The men in the room laugh]
Joker: ...A guy like me...look, listen, I know why you choose to have your little [clears throat] "group therapy sessions" in broad daylight, I know why you're afraid to go out at night: The Batman. See, Batman has shown Gotham your true colors. Unfortunately, Dent...he's just the beginning, and as–as for th-the television's so-called "plan", Batman has no jurisdiction. He'll find him and make him squeal. I know squealers when I see them, and...[points at the televised Lau]
The Chechen: What do you propose?
Joker: It's simple. We, uh...kill the Batman.
[Men in the room laugh again]
Sal Maroni: If it's so simple, why haven't you done it already?
Joker: If you're good at something, never do it for free.
The Chechen: So, how much you want?
Joker: [brief pause] Half.
[Once again, the men in the room laugh]
Gambol: [whispers] You're crazy.
Joker: [quickly glancing up, defensively] I'm not. No, I'm not. If we don't deal with this now, soon, uh, little–Gambol?–here won't be able to get a nickel for his grandma.
Gambol: [slams the table, and angrily rises from his seat] Enough from the clown!
Joker: Ah-ah. [rises from his seat as well, revealing grenades and explosives under his suit jacket with a string attached to his thumb] Let's not blow this out of proportion.
Gambol: You think you can steal from us and just walk away?!
Joker: [matter-of-factly] Yeah.
Gambol: I'm putting the word out: five hundred grand for this clown dead, and a million alive–so I can teach him some manners first.
Joker: Ah, uh...all right. So listen, why don't you give me a call when you want to start taking things a little more seriously? Here [pulls out a Joker playing card and shows it to everyone] Mm-hm.
[Waves his thumb as he retreats from the room]
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