Clerks II

Clerks II quotes

63 total quotes (ID: 819)

Dante Hicks
Randal Graves
Silent Bob

[to Elias] Then you must be as blind as Anne Frank, because what's the point of having an internet connection if your not using it to look at weird ****ed up pictures of dirty sex you'll never have yourself?

I hope that donkey doesn't have a hiney troll!

My Grandmother wasn't racist...although she did once refer to a broken beer bottle as a "**** knife".

Oh, what the **** happened to this world? There's only one trilogy, you ****ing morons! (To Elias and Hobbit Lover)

One semester we took criminology for God's sake! Criminology! Who the **** are we studying to be, Batman? (To Dante when discussing their short time in College)

What's sexier than an elf princess's sword?

[In the altered version of the prison scene]
Dante Hicks: "Yeah right do you know how much that would cost? Fifty thousand dollars easy."
Jay: "We have that kind of money."
Dante Hicks: "How'd you guys make that kind of money selling weed in front of the Quick Stop?"
Jay: "We got movie money."
[Confused look on Randal and Dantes faces]
Jay:"What the ****, man?! Doesn't anyone remeber they made a movie based on me and Silent Bob?!"

I'd buy the QuickStop and re-open it myself! That's what I'd do! (Randal's "big idea")

Did you know Jesus was a Jew?

That guy's being awfully forward with that donkey.

If you're gonna jump let me have a crack at that pussy first.

[re: the term "Porch Monkey"] It's cool. I'm taking it back.

[to Dante] You're my best friend, and I love a totally heterosexual way. Please don't leave me.

HEY some pickle****er just gave us free eats!

Now, if you don't get the **** outta here and let me spend some quality time with my man, next I'm gonna show you my pooter.