Clerks II

Clerks II quotes

63 total quotes (ID: 819)

Dante Hicks
Randal Graves
Silent Bob

One semester we took criminology for God's sake! Criminology! Who the **** are we studying to be, Batman? (To Dante when discussing their short time in College)

I'm disgusted, and repulsed, and...I can't look away... (referring to the Donkey show)

[after teen asks for a nickel bag, singing] "15 bucks, little man. Put that shit in my hand!"

I hope that donkey doesn't have a hiney troll!

Did you know Jesus was a Jew?

Oh, what the **** happened to this world? There's only one trilogy, you ****ing morons! (To Elias and Hobbit Lover)

That guy's being awfully forward with that donkey.

HEY some pickle****er just gave us free eats!

[re: the term "Porch Monkey"] It's cool. I'm taking it back.

Hey, hey, the Holy ****ing Bible, son!

[In the altered version of the prison scene]
Dante Hicks: "Yeah right do you know how much that would cost? Fifty thousand dollars easy."
Jay: "We have that kind of money."
Dante Hicks: "How'd you guys make that kind of money selling weed in front of the Quick Stop?"
Jay: "We got movie money."
[Confused look on Randal and Dantes faces]
Jay:"What the ****, man?! Doesn't anyone remeber they made a movie based on me and Silent Bob?!"

You ever see a chick give a mule a blowjob?

[to Dante] You're my best friend, and I love a totally heterosexual way. Please don't leave me.

The best part of this job is all the barely-legal pussy that comes through that door, and they all look up to me because I have a drivers license.Its awesome.

I'd buy the QuickStop and re-open it myself! That's what I'd do! (Randal's "big idea")