Clerks II

Clerks II quotes

63 total quotes (ID: 819)

Becky
Dante Hicks
Elias
Emma
Jay
Other
Randal Graves
Silent Bob


Elias: [removing a smoking black basket of fries] I don't think these look right.
Randal Graves: Jesus! Step away from the fryer before you burn us all alive!
Elias: It's not my fault you abandoned your post!
Randal Graves: Was it too much to ask that you handle the fries? The machine does all the work! What, does a machine gotta transform into some giant ****in' robot before you'll take it seriously? Go home!


Dante: I need two Eggamooby Muffins and i'm almost outta Hash Browns.
Randal: Hold on...
Dante: [To the microphone] Now, Randal!

...Lord? (after hearing Becky who was on the rooftop)

Randal: Hey, Freddie-****ing-Mercury where's the chick?
Sexy Stud: [gesturing to the donkey] Right here.
Randal: But this donkey's a dude.
Sexy Stud: Kelly can be a guy's name too. Hey!

Dante Hicks: Ow!
Randal Graves: You swung at me!
Dante Hicks: You ducked!
Randal Graves: Because you swung at me!

Alright, look. There's only one Return, ok, and it ain't of the King, it's of the Jedi.

Oh, then man, you must love this ****ing guy 'cause he's the biggest pussy I ever met, the dude who lives his life according to everyone else's standards. 'I have to go down to Florida and get married because that what's expected of me.' And the ****ing insane part is he ain't even crazy about the chick he's marrying or Florida, never mind the fact that he's got a perfectly good chick right here in Jersey who he's nuts about and even Anne-****ing-Frank can see that she's nuts about him, God knows why. And she likes you for who you are man, she ain't trying to stuff you into a box you'll never fit into, not to mention that she's carrying your hideous ****ing C.H.U.D. of a kid. Jesus if you had any sense whatsoever, you'd ****ing stop trying to bray it up with the rest of the sheep, and live your life the way it makes sense to you, you ****ing ass.

May your first child be a masculine child! (To Becky)

My Grandmother wasn't racist...although she did once refer to a broken beer bottle as a "nigger knife".

[to Elias] Then you must be as blind as Anne Frank, because what's the point of having an internet connection if your not using it to look at weird ****ed up pictures of dirty sex you'll never have yourself?

Teen 1: Hey, man, you holding?
Jay: Shit, everything but coke, heroin, and your ****.

At Bible Camp we made a flow chart. Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal!

[to Dante] Who would be friends with me? I hate everyone and everything seems stupid to me.

I'm telling you this only because I am your friend. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's forgivable to go ass to mouth.

Are you looking for a good transformers site? Because at cars2bots.com you can get an avatar of your picture morphed to look like a robot.