Clerks II

Clerks II quotes

63 total quotes (ID: 819)

Dante Hicks
Randal Graves
Silent Bob

The best part of this job is all the barely-legal pussy that comes through that door, and they all look up to me because I have a drivers license.Its awesome.

Well at least you spelled "****" right this time.

What'd you do that for? You realize he just thinks you're trying to get him into a threeway with us now, don't you?

What's sexier than an elf princess's sword?

Would you **** me?... I'd **** me... I'd **** me hard...

You ever see a chick give a mule a blowjob?

You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hangin' out in front of places sellin' weed 'n shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals 'n shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah...I'd be the first mother****er to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form...and **** it. And people'd be like..."There he goes; homeboy ****ed a Martian once."

You never go ass to mouth!

[after teen asks for a nickel bag, singing] "15 bucks, little man. Put that shit in my hand!"

[Drunk whilst watching the donkey show] I have a huge boner right now.

[In deleted scene to Jay] I just think you're a gay man in denial!

[in front of the "Eat Pussy" graffiti] Oh, we totally do.

[re: the term "Porch Monkey"] It's cool. I'm taking it back.

[To both Dante and Randal] Jesus, why don't you guys **** and get it over with?

[to Dante] Who would be friends with me? I hate everyone and everything seems stupid to me.