Sam's Dad: Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

Sam: Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought, useless and disappointing.

Fiona: [to Sam] People go to school to get smarter, so that they can get a job. You already have a job, so it's like skipping a step.

Sam: Maybe this whole relationship is just better off in cyberspace.

Fiona: [to Sam] There's something I've always wanted to tell you: you're not very pretty, and you're not very bright. Glad we had this talk.

Sam: It was the kind of place where diet was a four letter word, and grease came at no additional charge.

Austin: Sam! Okay, I know you think I'm just some...
Sam: Coward? Phony?...
Austin: Okay, just listen...
Sam: No, you listen. You turned out to be exactly who I thought you were. I never pretended to be somebody else. It's been me all along. And it was me who was hurt in front of everybody. Look, I didn't come here to yell at you, okay? I came to tell you, I know what it feels like to be afraid to show who you are. I was. But not anymore. And the thing is, I don't care what people think about me... because I believe in myself. And I know that things are gonna be okay. But even though I have no family, and no job, and no money for college... it's you that I feel sorry for...
[Brief Interruption]
Sam: I know that the guy that sent those emails is some where down inside of you, but I cant wait for him, because waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing!
Austin: Sam?

Carter: Have no fear! Zorro is here... *a little pause* AND HE'S GOT THE KEYS TO HIS DAD'S MERCEDES!

Shelby: What can I get on this menu that doesn't have sugar, no carbs and is fat-free?
Sam: Uhm... Water.

Fiona: I have never seen my husband's hidden will before.

Fiona: Is this the Norwegian Salmon that I asked for?
Sam: Mhm... Only the Best.
Fiona: Mmm. I can tell. You know it costs a fortune to fly that stuff in from Norwegia.