Jack Burton quotes

Everybody relax, I'm here.

Okay, you people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn . . . call the president.

I was born ready.

[to Gracie Law] Could you stop rubbing your body up against mine? 'Cause I can't concentrate when you do that.

Jack what? I'm supposed to buy this shit? 2000 years and you can't find one broad to fit the bill? Come on Dave, you must be doing something wrong!

This is Jack Burton in the Porkchop Express and I'm talkin' to whoever's listening out there.

Like I told my last wife, I said, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides it's all in the reflexes."

Son of a bitch must pay!

What does that mean, huh? "China is here"? I don't even know what the hell that means!

Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it."

We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn't we, Wang?

Hey, I'm a reasonable guy. But I've just experienced some very unreasonable things.

I feel good, and I'm not scared at all. I just feel kind of . . . kind of invincible . . . Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?

Ol' Jack always says . . . what the hell.

Now I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we're all alone in THIS universe.

Tall guy, weird clothes. First you see him then you don't.

This is going to take crackerjack timing, Wang.

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

All I know is that this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley, while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just STANDS there, waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him, with LIGHT coming out of his mouth?

Okay, I get the picture White Tigers, Lords of Death, guys in funny suits throwing plastic explosives while poison arrows fall from the sky and the pillars of heaven shake, huh? Sure, okay, I see Charlie Chan, Fu Manchu and a hundred howlin' monkey temples, and that's just for starters, right? Fine! I'm back! I'm ready, goddammit let me at 'em!

[On phone to insurance company] I'm gonna tell you about an accident, and I don't wanna hear "act of God"!

Lo Pan? Which Lo Pan? The little old basket case on wheels or the ten foot tall roadblock?

[to Lo Pan] Are you crazy? Is that your problem?

We made it. Holy shit, we made it!

I took something. I can see things other men cannot see. Why are you dressed like that?

You've got a tongue, Dave. Ask her yourself.

Abandoned like hell!

It's all in the reflexes.

I can take it.

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