Batman Returns

Batman Returns quotes

43 total quotes (ID: 62)

Batman/Bruce Wayne
Catwoman/Selina Kyle
Other Characters
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot

A penguin is a bird that cannot fly! I am a man. I have a name. [pauses, reluctant to accept it] ... Oswald Cobblepot!

I was their number one son, and they treated me like number two! But it's human nature to fear the unusual. [After visiting his parents' grave]

[to Batman, after they both encounter Catwoman] I saw her first. Gotta fly!

[to a crowd of voters] I may have saved the mayor's baby, but I refuse to save a mayor who stood by, helpless AS a baby, while Gotham City was ravaged by a disease that turned eagle-scouts into crazed clowns and happy homemakers into catwomen!

[seeing Catwoman] Just the pussy I've been looking for.

[to Catwoman] Why should I trust some Cat-broad, anyway? Maybe you're just a screwed-up sorority chick who's gettin' back at her daddy for not buying her that pony when she turned sweet sixteen.

[to Catwoman] You're beauty and the beast in one luscious Christmas gift pack.

Just relax. I'll take care of the squealing, wretched pinhead puppets of Gotham!... You gotta admit, I've played this stinking city like a harp from hell!

[after a failed attempt to kill Batman] He didn't even lose a limb! An eyeball! Bladder control!


Right now, my troops are fanning out across town, for your children! Yes - for your first-born sons! The ones you left helpless at home, so you could get juiced on Max's Shreggnog, and dress up like jerks, and dance, badly!

[addressing his penguin army] My dear penguins, we stand on a great threshold! It's okay to be scared; many of you won't be coming back. Thanks to Batman, the time has come to punish all of God's children! First, second, third and fourth-born! Why be biased?! Male and female! Hell, the sexes are equal with their erogenous zones BLOWN SKY-HIGH!!! FORWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD MARCH!!! THE LIBERATION OF GOTHAM HAS BEGUN!!!!!

They wouldn't put me on a pedestal, so I'm layin' 'em on a slab!

[fighting Batman] You're just jealous 'cause I'm a genuine freak, and you have to wear a mask!

But what it all comes down to is, who's holding the umbrella?!