The Awful Truth quotes

View Quote Lucy: It's enough to destroy one's faith, isn't it?
Jerry: Oh, I haven't any faith left in anyone.
Lucy: I know just how you feel.
Jerry: What do you mean?
Lucy: You didn't happen to mention in any of your letters what a terrible rainy spell they were having in Florida. The papers were full of it.
Jerry: Well, I can explain that, Lucy.
Lucy: You can?
Jerry: And don't try to change the subject. You think a great offense is a great defense. Don't try to justify your behavior by insinuating things about me.
Lucy: But I haven't any behavior to justify. I've just been unlucky, that's all. You've come home and caught me in a truth and it seems there's nothing less logical than the truth.
Jerry: Hmm, a philosopher, huh?
Lucy: You don't believe me.
Jerry: Oh, how can I believe you? The car broke down. People stopped believing that one before cars stopped breaking down.
Lucy: Well, his car's very old.
Jerry: Well, so's his story.

View Quote Lucy: I've told you the truth about all this, Jerry. Don't you see that there can't be any doubt in marriage? The whole thing's built on faith. If you've lost that, well, you've lost everything.
Jerry: Then I guess we're washed up because we've lost faith in each other.
Lucy: Do you mean that?...All right then, that settles it. I wouldn't go on living with you if you were dipped in platinum. So go on, divorce me. Go on, divorce me! It'll be a pleasure. [he refuses] All right, then I'll divorce you. I believe it's customary anyhow for the wife to bring suit. It has something to do with a husband being a gentleman, if you know what I mean? I'll call up our lawyer right now.

View Quote Aunt Patsy: You know dozens of men who would turn handsprings at the chance to take you out. Here I've got you all dressed up, ready to go out and you weaken and refuse...I want to go where there's life, and I don't mean plant life. I want to go to the theatre, you know, and go places later and step around and do things...I don't need an escort to get a drink. I'm going down to the bar and see Joe. Bartender or no bartender, he's still a man. Maybe he knocks off early.
Lucy: Oh, Patty, you wouldn't!
Aunt Patsy: I wouldn't, eh? You're talking to a desperate woman. [Mr. Smith jumps up next to Lucy on the couch] Too bad he can't wear a top-hat.

View Quote Aunt Patsy: Imagine you living right across the hall from us all of this time. [to Lucy] He's a stranger in town. He'd take it as being real neighborly of us if we show him some of the bright spots.
Daniel: We're here on a visit. I'm in oil, you know.
Aunt Patsy: Marinated, so to speak.
Daniel: [laughing] Say, that's a good one. I gotta remember to tell that to my mother.
Aunt Patsy: Mr. Leeson. Won't you tell us something about Oklahoma?
Daniel: Well, Oklahoma's pretty swell. I got quite a ranch down there. I'd like to have you see it sometime, Mrs. Warriner...I got cattle and horses and chickens and alfalfa.

View Quote Jerry: This is my day to visit Mr. Smith.
Lucy: He's only my husband for - how much longer is it now? Sixty days?
Jerry: Fifty-nine.
Lucy: Oh, that's better. Only fifty-nine days. Don't worry about him, he has a Continental mind.
Daniel: [They shake hands] I'm glad to know ya.
Jerry: How can you be glad to know me? I know how I'd feel if I was sitting with a girl and her husband walked in.
Lucy: I'll bet you do.
Jerry: [To Lucy] You know, I don't think you ought to go around telling people you're not married. He looks like a nice sort of fella. How do you think he feels?
Lucy: Why don't you go and play with the dog?
Jerry: Don't mind me.
Lucy: [to Daniel] Tell me some more about Arizona.
Daniel: Oklahoma.

View Quote Jerry: [about Mr. Smith] Hey, is he getting enough to eat lately? He doesn't look very well.
Lucy: Well, you don't look so hot yourself.

View Quote Daniel: Are you sure you don't like that fella?
Lucy: Like him? You saw the way I treated him, didn't you?
Daniel: That's what I mean. Back on my ranch, I got a little red rooster and a little brown hen and they fight all the time too, but every once in a while they make up again and they're right friendly.

View Quote Daniel: I think I'm in love.
Mrs. Leeson: You keep your mind off women...She won't want to meet me. She knows that any other woman could see right through her.

View Quote Lucy: [about Daniel] He's sweet and thoughtful...sane and considerate. I was married to one who was insane and inconsiderate.
Aunt Patsy: I didn't expect you to get silly about him...It's fine except the rebound is rarely the real thing. As a matter of fact, it's the bunk.
Lucy: Well, I'm serious about Daniel and I like him. I like him very much. I'm all through with Jerry. He doesn't mean a thing to me. I don't love him, and what's more, I probably never did. I'm sure I never loved him and now I hate him. And that surprises you, doesn't it? I hate Jerry Warriner and I like Daniel Leeson very very much and I hope he's just crazy about me because I think he's the finest man I ever met.

View Quote Jerry: I'm in love with love. In the spring, a young man's fancy likely turns to, uh, what he's been thinking about all winter. How long have you been talking like Amos and Andy, huh?
Dixie Belle: Oh, for quite some time. I got wise to the fact that it helps me in my work. So as long as I loved my work, you'll all have to pardon my Southern accent.

View Quote Jerry: Ah, so you're gonna live in Ok-la-ho-ma, eh Lucy? How I envy you. Ever since I was a small boy, that name has been filled with magic for me. Ok-la-ho-ma!
Daniel: We're gonna live right in Oklahoma City!
Jerry: Not Oklahoma City itself? Lucy, you lucky girl! No more running around to nightspots. No more prowling around in New York shops. I shall think of you every time a new show opens and say to myself, 'She's well out of it.'
Daniel: New York's all right for a visit but I wouldn't want to live here.
Lucy: I know I'll enjoy Oklahoma City.
Jerry: Well, of course. And if it should get dull, you can always go over to Tul-sa for the weekend. I think a big change like that does one good, don't you?

View Quote Jerry: [about Dixie Belle] I just met her.
Lucy: I guess it was easier to her to change her name than for her whole family to change theirs.
Daniel: That'd go great out West.
Lucy: It seemed to go pretty well with the cowboy here.
Jerry: Do you want to change the subject?

View Quote Jerry: Look, why don't you two get up and dance, or don't you dance?
Daniel: Uh, Lucy doesn't care very much about dancing. Didn't you know that?
Jerry: Did Lucy tell you that? She's holding out on ya. She's a beautiful dancer. Why, I used to call her 'Twinkle-toes.' [grinning] Hello Twinkle-toes.
Daniel: Have you been foolin' me, you little rascal?
Lucy: Well, to tell you the truth, Dan, I-I didn't think you cared much about it.
Daniel: Care about it? Why, I could dance till the cows come home! I won several cups at it myself.
Lucy: We never won any cups.
Jerry: Maybe you had the wrong partner.
Daniel: There's a lot in what you say.

View Quote Jerry: Our divorce was one of those tragedies that you read about in the papers - a trusting woman and a worthless man. I was never good enough for Lucy, and well, finally she found it out. Lucy is above suspicion and always has been. She's as pure as the driven snow, as faithful as she is fair. And I would that I had been worthy to kiss the hem of her garment. Never during our marital bliss did she cause me one moment's uneasiness. Never did I have to ask, 'Lucy, where have you been? What were you doing?' I always knew. I tell you, something wonderful went out of my life when I lost her.
Daniel: Oh, I know just how you feel.
Jerry: How do ya know? How can you know how it feels to have used up the best years of a woman's life? Well, of course, that's the way it goes.

View Quote Jerry: What do you see in this fellow?
Lucy: Oh, none of your business.
Jerry: Not that I care, but uh, what kind of mind could he have that would impress you, huh?
Lucy: You might be surprised. You could take a few lessons and profit nicely.
Jerry: You'd be surprised what I'd give to get an earful of that.