Army of Darkness quotes

42 total quotes

Ash
Evil Ash
Multiple Characters

View Quote Deadite: I'll cut your gizzard out!

View Quote Duke Henry: You're not one of my vassals... who are you?
Ash: Who wants to know?
Duke Henry: I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.

View Quote Sheila: But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?
Ash: Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby, that's all.

View Quote Ash: Klaatu verata nikto.
Wiseman: Well, repeat them.
Ash: Klaatu verata nikto.
Wiseman: Again.
Ash: I got it, I got it! I know your damn words, alright?

View Quote Possessed Woman: I'll swallow your soul!
Ash: Come get some.

View Quote Ash: Lady, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store.
Possessed woman: Who the hell are you?
Ash: Name's Ash. [****s rifle] Housewares.

View Quote Possessed Sheila: You found me beautiful once...
Ash: Honey, you got reeeal ugly!

View Quote Sheila: [Being handled by Evil Ash] Don't touch me! You foul thing!
Evil Ash: You're gonna learn to love me, missy.
Sheila: The Promised One will come for you.
Evil Ash: Darlin' I'm gonna save him the trouble.

View Quote Evil Ash: [to his skeleton minions, who are digging up corpses in a graveyard] Dig, damn you! Dig faster! I shall command every worm-infested son-of-a-bitch that ever died in battle!
Skeleton: Thank you, sir!

View Quote Wiseman: When you removed the book from the cradle, did you speak the words?
Ash: Yeah, basically.
Wiseman: Did you speak the exact words?
Ash: Look, maybe I didn't say every tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah.

View Quote [from Director's Cut]
Ash: What are you? Are you me?
Evil Ash: What are do? Are you me? HAHAHAHAHAH! You sound like a jerk!
Ash: Why ya doin' this, huh?
Evil Ash: Oh, you wanna know? 'Cause the answer's easy! I'm BAD Ash... and you're GOOD Ash! You're a goody little two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes!
[begins to sucker-punch Ash]
Evil Ash: Little goody TWO-SHOES! Little goody TWO-SHOES! HEHEHEHEHE!
[honk honk honk]
Evil Ash: LITTLE GOODY TWO-SHOES! HEHEHE
Ash: [****s shotgun and points it under Evil Ash's nose]
Ash: [fires shotgun] Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun

View Quote [from Theatrical version]
Ash: What are you? Are you me?
Evil Ash: I'm BAD Ash... and you're GOOD Ash! You're a goody little two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes!
[begins to sucker-punch Ash]
Evil Ash: Little goody TWO-SHOES! Little goody TWO-SHOES! HEHEHEHEHE!
Ash: [****s shotgun and points it under Evil Ash's nose]
Ash: [fires shotgun] Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun