Did you go to a rock concert?...Oh yeah really, really? How'd you like it? Was it, was it heavy? Did it achieve total heaviosity?

Lacey Party Guest: This is Davis ... I forgot my mantra.

Partygoer #1: Right now, it's only a notion. But I think I can get money to make it into a concept. And later turn it into an idea.

Oh that's OK, we can walk to the curb from here!

You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art, because it's real difficult in life.

La-di-da, la-di-da, la la. Note: ranked #55 in the [[w:AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movie Quotes|American Film

Pedestrian: Are you on television?
Alvy: No. [After a long pause] Yeah, once in a while...
Pedestrian: What's your name?
Alvy: You wouldn't know. It doesn't matter. What's the difference?
Pedestrian: You're on, uh, the, uh, the Johnny Carson, right?
Alvy: Once in a while, you know...
Pedestrian: What's your name?
Alvy: I-m - I'm uh, I'm Robert Redford.
Pedestrian: Come on.
Alvy: Alvy Singer. It was nice. Thanks very much for everything.
Pedestrian: Hey! Dis is Alvy Singah!
Alvy: Fellas, you know...
Pedestrian: Dis guy's on television!!! Alvy Singer. Right? Am I right?
Alvy: Gimme a break...
Pedestrian: Dis guy's on television!!!
Alvy: I need the large polo mallet.
2nd man: Who's on television?
Pedestrian: Dis guy - on the Johnny Carson Show.
Alvy: Fellas, what is this? A meeting of the Teamsters?
2nd man: What program?
Pedestrian: Kineye 'ave your ortograph?
Alvy: You don't want my autograph.
Pedestrian: No, I do. It's for my girlfriend. Make it out to Ralph.
Alvy: Your girlfriend's name is Ralph?
Pedestrian: It's for my bruddah. ALVY SINGER!! HEY! THIS IS ALVY SINGER!!
[Annie arrives via taxi]
Alvy: Jesus, what did ya do? Come by way of the Panama Canal?
Annie: I'm in a bad mood, OK?
Alvy: Bad mood? I'm standing with the cast of The Godfather.
Annie: You're gonna have to learn to deal with it.
Alvy: I'm dealin' with two guys named Cheech.
Note: The in-joke is that Diane Keaton starred in "The Godfather". So "I'm standing with the cast of The Godfather" can be also taken literally.

There's an old joke. Uh, two elderly women are at a Catskills mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know, and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life. Full of loneliness and misery and suffering and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

What I wouldn't give for a large sock with horse manure in it. ...What do you do when you get stuck in a movie line with a guy like this behind you? It's just maddening.

[to Annie] You're a wonderful tennis player...You're the worst driver I've ever seen in my life...and I love what you're wearing.

My Grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do?

[to Annie] Don't you have a can of Raid in the house? I told you a thousand times. You should always keep a lot of insect spray. You never know who's gonna crawl over.

Darling, I've been killing spiders since I was thirty, OK?

Schoolboy: I used to be a heroin addict. Now I'm a methadone addict.