Annie Hall

Annie Hall quotes

85 total quotes (ID: 674)

Alvy Singer
Annie Hall
Multiple Characters


Tony's girlfriend: You're Alvy Singer, right? Didn't we meet at EST?
Alvy: EST? No, no, I was never to EST.
Tony's girlfriend: Then how can you criticize it?...
Alvy: No, no, no, I came out here to get some shock therapy, but there was an energy crisis...Hey, you guys are wearing white. It must be in the stars...Uri Geller must be on the premises someplace.
Rob: We're gonna operate together.


[on why he doesn't drive] I got a license but I have too much hostility.

[to Annie] Don't you have a can of Raid in the house? I told you a thousand times. You should always keep a lot of insect spray. You never know who's gonna crawl over.

[to Annie] You are extremely sexy, unbelievably sexy...You know what you are, you're polymorphously perverse...you're exceptional in bed because you got - you get pleasure in every part of your body when I touch it...Like the tip of your nose, and if I stroke your teeth or your kneecaps...you get excited.

[to Annie] You're a wonderful tennis player...You're the worst driver I've ever seen in my life...and I love what you're wearing.

After that, it got pretty late and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again and I realized what a terrific person she was and how much fun it was just knowing her...and I thought of that old joke, you know, the, this, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, uh, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken,' and uh, the doctor says, 'Well why don't you turn him in?' And the guy says, 'I would, but I need the eggs.' Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships. You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd and - but uh, I guess we keep going through it...because...most of us need the eggs.

Annie and I broke up. And I still can't get my mind around that. You know, I keep sifting the pieces of the relationship through my mind, and examining my life and trying to figure out where did the screwup come, you know. A year ago, we were in love, you know.

Darling, I've been killing spiders since I was thirty, OK?

Did you go to a rock concert?...Oh yeah really, really? How'd you like it? Was it, was it heavy? Did it achieve total heaviosity?

Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.

I can't get with any religion that advertises in Popular Mechanics.

I don't use any major hallucinogenics...Five years ago at a party, I tried to take my pants off over my head.

I don't want to live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

I hope to become the balding virile type, you know, as opposed to, say, the distinguished gray, unless I'm neither of those two. Unless I'm one of those guys with saliva dribbling out of his mouth who wanders into a cafeteria with a shopping bag screaming about socialism.

I was a great athlete...I was all-school yard.