Annie Hall quotes

View Quote Maybe we should just call the police. Dial 911. It's the lobster squad. It'll turn up in our bed at night. Talk to him. You speak shellfish...Annie, there's a big lobster behind the refrigerator. I can't get it out...Maybe if I put a little dish of butter sauce here with a nutcracker, it will run out the other side?...We should have gotten steaks, 'cause they don't have legs. They don't run around.

View Quote Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat, college.

View Quote [on why he doesn't drive] I got a license but I have too much hostility.

View Quote What did you do? Grow up in a Norman Rockwell painting? Your Grammy?

View Quote Yeah, you're really popular - I can see. What, you got the plague of something?

View Quote Yeah, why not? Because we're just going to go home later, right, and there's gonna be all that tension, you know, we never kissed before. And I'll never know when to make the right move or anything. So we'll kiss now and get it over with, and then we'll go eat. OK? We'll digest our food better.

View Quote I don't use any major hallucinogenics...Five years ago at a party, I tried to take my pants off over my head.

View Quote I'm obsessed with uh, with death, I think. Big - big subject with me, yeah. I have a very pessimistic view of life. You should know this about me if we're gonna go out. You know, I - I feel that life is - is divided up into the horrible and the miserable. Those are the two categories, you know. The - the horrible would be like, um, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else. That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life - you should be thankful that you're miserable because you're very lucky to be miserable.

View Quote [to Annie] You are extremely sexy, unbelievably sexy...You know what you are, you're polymorphously perverse...you're exceptional in bed because you got - you get pleasure in every part of your body when I touch it...Like the tip of your nose, and if I stroke your teeth or your kneecaps...you get excited.

View Quote I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final, you know. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. When I was thrown out, my mother, who was an emotionally high-strung woman, locked herself in the bathroom and took an overdose of Mah-Jongg tiles. I was depressed at that time. I was in analysis. I was suicidal as a matter of fact and would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian, and, if you kill yourself, they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

View Quote I'm making excellent progress. Pretty soon, when I lie down on his couch, I won't have to wear the lobster bib.

View Quote You know, even as a kid, I always went for the wrong women. I think that's my problem. When my mother took me to see Snow White, everyone fell in love with Snow White. I immediately fell for the Wicked Queen.

View Quote I can't get with any religion that advertises in Popular Mechanics.

View Quote Why don't you get William F. Buckley to kill the spider?...Are you going with a right-wing rock 'n roll star?

View Quote Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.