There's an old joke. Uh, two elderly women are at a Catskills mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know, and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life. Full of loneliness and misery and suffering and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

Oh that's OK, we can walk to the curb from here!

What I wouldn't give for a large sock with horse manure in it. ...What do you do when you get stuck in a movie line with a guy like this behind you? It's just maddening.

[to Annie] You're a wonderful tennis player...You're the worst driver I've ever seen in my life...and I love what you're wearing.

My Grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do?

[to Annie] Don't you have a can of Raid in the house? I told you a thousand times. You should always keep a lot of insect spray. You never know who's gonna crawl over.

Did you go to a rock concert?...Oh yeah really, really? How'd you like it? Was it, was it heavy? Did it achieve total heaviosity?

Darling, I've been killing spiders since I was thirty, OK?

You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art, because it's real difficult in life.

Schoolboy: I used to be a heroin addict. Now I'm a methadone addict.

Schoolgirl: I'm into leather.

Mrs. Singer: You always only saw the worst in people. You never could get along with anyone in school. You were always out of step with the world. Even when you got famous, you still mistrusted the world.

Lacey Party Guest: This is Davis ... I forgot my mantra.

Partygoer #1: Right now, it's only a notion. But I think I can get money to make it into a concept. And later turn it into an idea.