American Wedding

American Wedding quotes

30 total quotes (ID: 33)

Michelle Flaherty
Multiple Characters
Paul Finch
Steve Stiffler


Told ya that guy wanted to **** me.


It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-****er. 'Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out, and rock out with my **** out.

Everyone wants a piece of the Stifmeister.

It's on like Donkey Kong, biotch.

Happy "**** Day", Ass Mouth! What happened to my invite? Get lost in the mail, ****face?

My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls.

Hey, Finch, what's the capital of Thailand? [Hits Finch in the groin] Bang-****.

Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.

No no no shit head, you hooked up with one other girl for what, ten seconds? Not to mention that you passed on Nadia, dumbest ****ing thing ever. You're like a blind man picking out his favorite porno.

If you'll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to.

Stifler: What describes the Stif-miester best?
Jim: He uses the F-word excessively.
Stifler: Really? Thanks, man.

Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. It's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time.

Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls.

Jim, I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. And I realized something. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is something you do. It's a dress, a visit to band camp. A special haircut. Jim, you've given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you.

Hey i'm gonna give you a little piece of advice: love life, get paid, then get laid. That is the basic philosophy of... The Finch-meister!