American Wedding quotes
30 total quotesMichelle Flaherty
Multiple Characters
Paul Finch
Steve Stiffler
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Voltaire can suck on my balls!
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Oh, Stifler's Mom!
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I did **** your Mom... Twice!
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Jim's Dad: Son, step away from the animal...
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Jim's Dad: Why do you think, uh, Michelle, they call it "making love"?
Michelle: I don't know. I just call it "boning".
Jim's Dad: Boning? Well, when-when you're doing other things with Jim, when you're not... um... boning, how does he make you feel?
Michelle: Horny, like I wanna bone.
Jim's Dad: But-but, we can't be boning from sunrise to sunset, dear.
Michelle: Oh, you've never tried it?
Jim's Dad: I certainly have. I have. I've boned... from sunrise, uh, right through brunch on more than one occasion.
Michelle: I don't know. I just call it "boning".
Jim's Dad: Boning? Well, when-when you're doing other things with Jim, when you're not... um... boning, how does he make you feel?
Michelle: Horny, like I wanna bone.
Jim's Dad: But-but, we can't be boning from sunrise to sunset, dear.
Michelle: Oh, you've never tried it?
Jim's Dad: I certainly have. I have. I've boned... from sunrise, uh, right through brunch on more than one occasion.
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Finch: Now, Jim, let me handle this. These are my people.
Stifler: They're gay?
Finch: No, you bleeding imbecile. They have style, they're cultured, they're sophisticated.
Stifler: So, they're gay.
Stifler: They're gay?
Finch: No, you bleeding imbecile. They have style, they're cultured, they're sophisticated.
Stifler: So, they're gay.
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Michelle: [about Stiffler] Jim, he's not doing it to be nice; he's doing it to bone Cadence.
Jim: Look, maybe we should give him a chance. You know, I think - I think that underneath all the "****s" and "shits" and "blow me's", there's a very sensitive person who's just thirsty for acceptance. That's... that's what I think.
Michelle: Oh, Jim... you gotta stop masturbating... it's melting your brain.
Jim: Look, maybe we should give him a chance. You know, I think - I think that underneath all the "****s" and "shits" and "blow me's", there's a very sensitive person who's just thirsty for acceptance. That's... that's what I think.
Michelle: Oh, Jim... you gotta stop masturbating... it's melting your brain.
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Cadence: So, can I see the ring?
Stifler: Nope. Promised to keep it safe. It's not leaving my pocket.
Cadence: Okay, Frodo.
Stifler: Nope. Promised to keep it safe. It's not leaving my pocket.
Cadence: Okay, Frodo.
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Jim: Honesty, now- Honestly, would you have passed up sex with Nadia?
Jim's Dad: Why? Did she say something?
Jim: Hypothetically, Dad.
Jim's Dad: Oh, hypothetically. Well, I mean, you know, Jim, I'm a married man. I'm...
Jim: If-If-If you weren't married.
Jim's Dad: She's a college girl.
Jim: If you were a college guy.
Jim's Dad: In a heartbeat. Oh yeah.
Jim's Dad: Why? Did she say something?
Jim: Hypothetically, Dad.
Jim's Dad: Oh, hypothetically. Well, I mean, you know, Jim, I'm a married man. I'm...
Jim: If-If-If you weren't married.
Jim's Dad: She's a college girl.
Jim: If you were a college guy.
Jim's Dad: In a heartbeat. Oh yeah.
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Michelle: How did a little perv like you, turn into such a great guy?
Jim: How did a little nympho like you, turn into such a great girl?
Michelle: I'm still a nympho.
Jim: Well, I'm still a perv.
Jim: How did a little nympho like you, turn into such a great girl?
Michelle: I'm still a nympho.
Jim: Well, I'm still a perv.
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Paul Finch: Grandmother****er.
Steve Stifler: Mother****er.
Paul Finch: [smiling] Yes, I am!
Steve Stifler: Mother****er.
Paul Finch: [smiling] Yes, I am!
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Stifler: So, you upset about me and Cadence?
Finch: Well, let's see. She wasn't into the intellectual stuff, she actually enjoyed me acting like an imbecile. I don't know, I suppose she's better with you anyway.
Stifler: [pats Finch on the back and smiles] Thanks Shitbreak. [pauses and scowls] ****er. I ****ing hate not hating you.
Finch: [grins] I did **** your Mom...twice.
Stifler: That's better, ****er.
Finch: Well, let's see. She wasn't into the intellectual stuff, she actually enjoyed me acting like an imbecile. I don't know, I suppose she's better with you anyway.
Stifler: [pats Finch on the back and smiles] Thanks Shitbreak. [pauses and scowls] ****er. I ****ing hate not hating you.
Finch: [grins] I did **** your Mom...twice.
Stifler: That's better, ****er.
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Finch: Stifler's Mom...
Stifler's Mom: You've got to know I'm over you, Finchy.
Finch: Well, as they say, we'll always have Paris.
Stifler's Mom: And the pool table.
Finch: And the car.
Stifler's Mom: And the two-room suite I have upstairs...
Finch: Oh, man. Let's go!
Stifler's Mom: You've got to know I'm over you, Finchy.
Finch: Well, as they say, we'll always have Paris.
Stifler's Mom: And the pool table.
Finch: And the car.
Stifler's Mom: And the two-room suite I have upstairs...
Finch: Oh, man. Let's go!