American Psycho quotes
56 total quotesMultiple Characters
Patrick Bateman
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Pumpkin? Pumpkin, you're dating an asshole. Pumpkin, you're dating the biggest dick-weed in New York. Pumpkin...you're dating a tumbling, tumbling dick-weed.
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ATM: Feed me a stray cat.
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Evelyn: Thousands of roses and lots of chocolate truffles. Godiva, and oysters in the half-shell.
Bateman: [narrating] I'm trying to listen to the new Robert Palmer tape, but Evelyn, my supposed fianc?e, keeps buzzing in my ear.
Evelyn: Annie Leibovitz. We'll get Annie Leibovitz. And we'll have to get someone to videotape. Patrick, we should do it.
Bateman: Do what?
Evelyn: Get married. Have a wedding.
Bateman: No, I can't take the time off work.
Evelyn: Your father practically owns the company. You can do anything you like, silly.
Bateman: I don't want to talk about it.
Evelyn: Well, you hate that job anyway. Why don't you just quit? You don't have to work.
Bateman: Because I want...to fit...in.
Bateman: [narrating] I'm trying to listen to the new Robert Palmer tape, but Evelyn, my supposed fianc?e, keeps buzzing in my ear.
Evelyn: Annie Leibovitz. We'll get Annie Leibovitz. And we'll have to get someone to videotape. Patrick, we should do it.
Bateman: Do what?
Evelyn: Get married. Have a wedding.
Bateman: No, I can't take the time off work.
Evelyn: Your father practically owns the company. You can do anything you like, silly.
Bateman: I don't want to talk about it.
Evelyn: Well, you hate that job anyway. Why don't you just quit? You don't have to work.
Bateman: Because I want...to fit...in.
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McDermott: If they have a great personality and they're not great looking... then who ****ing cares?
Bateman: Well, let's just say hypothetically ok? What if they have a great personality?
[pause, all laugh]
Bateman: I know, I know.
Bateman, McDermott, Van Patten: [in unison] There are no girls with good personalities.
Van Patten: A good personality consists of a chick with a little hard body, who will satisfy all sexual demands without being too slutty about things, and who essentially will keep her dumb ****ing mouth shut.
McDermott: The only girls with good personalities who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented, though God knows what the **** that means, are ugly chicks.
Van Patten: Absolutely.
McDermott: And this is because they have to make up for how ****ing unnattractive they are.
Bateman: Well, let's just say hypothetically ok? What if they have a great personality?
[pause, all laugh]
Bateman: I know, I know.
Bateman, McDermott, Van Patten: [in unison] There are no girls with good personalities.
Van Patten: A good personality consists of a chick with a little hard body, who will satisfy all sexual demands without being too slutty about things, and who essentially will keep her dumb ****ing mouth shut.
McDermott: The only girls with good personalities who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented, though God knows what the **** that means, are ugly chicks.
Van Patten: Absolutely.
McDermott: And this is because they have to make up for how ****ing unnattractive they are.
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Bateman: Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
Van Patten: Ed Gein? Maitre d' at Canal Bar?
Bateman: No, serial killer, Wisconsin in the fifties.
McDermott: So what did Ed say?
Bateman: When I see a pretty girl walking down the street I think two things. One part of me wants to take her out and talk to her and be real nice and sweet and treat her right.
McDermott: And what did the other part think?
Bateman: What her head would look like on a stick.
Van Patten: Ed Gein? Maitre d' at Canal Bar?
Bateman: No, serial killer, Wisconsin in the fifties.
McDermott: So what did Ed say?
Bateman: When I see a pretty girl walking down the street I think two things. One part of me wants to take her out and talk to her and be real nice and sweet and treat her right.
McDermott: And what did the other part think?
Bateman: What her head would look like on a stick.
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Bateman: He was into that whole Yale thing.
Donald Kimball: Yale thing?
Bateman: Yeah, Yale thing.
Donald Kimball: What whole Yale thing?
Bateman: Well, he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.
Donald Kimball: Yale thing?
Bateman: Yeah, Yale thing.
Donald Kimball: What whole Yale thing?
Bateman: Well, he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.
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Waiter: Would you like to hear today's specials?
Bateman: Not if you want to keep your spleen.
Bateman: Not if you want to keep your spleen.
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Bateman: Come on, Bryce. There are a lot more important problems than Sri Lanka to worry about.
Bryce: Like what?
Bateman: Well, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.
Bryce: Like what?
Bateman: Well, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.
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Bryce: He makes himself out to be a harmless old codger, but inside... inside...
Bateman: [voice-over] ..."but inside" doesn't matter.
McDermott: "Inside," yes, "inside..." - believe it or not, Bryce, we're actually listening to you...
Bryce: Come on, Bateman, what do you think?
Bateman: Whatever.
Bateman: [voice-over] ..."but inside" doesn't matter.
McDermott: "Inside," yes, "inside..." - believe it or not, Bryce, we're actually listening to you...
Bryce: Come on, Bateman, what do you think?
Bateman: Whatever.
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Courtney Rawlinson: Listen Patrick, can we talk?
Bateman: You look... marvelous. There's nothing to say.
Bateman: You look... marvelous. There's nothing to say.
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Bryce: [after snorting cut cocaine] I want to get high off this, not sprinkle it on my ****ing Oaties.
Bateman: Definitely weak, but I have a feeling that if we do enough of it we'll be okay.
Club Patron: [leans over from another booth] Will you keep it down? I'm trying to do drugs!
Bryce: HEY, **** YOU!
Bateman: Definitely weak, but I have a feeling that if we do enough of it we'll be okay.
Club Patron: [leans over from another booth] Will you keep it down? I'm trying to do drugs!
Bryce: HEY, **** YOU!
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Bateman: I don't think we should see each other any more.
Evelyn: Why? What's wrong?
Bateman: I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale. It cannot be corrected but I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
Evelyn: What about the past?
Bateman: We never really shared one.
Evelyn: You're inhuman.
Bateman: No... .I'm in touch with humanity.
Evelyn: Why? What's wrong?
Bateman: I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale. It cannot be corrected but I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
Evelyn: What about the past?
Bateman: We never really shared one.
Evelyn: You're inhuman.
Bateman: No... .I'm in touch with humanity.
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[Just after breaking up]
Evelyn: Where are you going?
Bateman: I am just leaving.
Evelyn: But where?
Bateman: I have to return some videotapes.
Evelyn: Where are you going?
Bateman: I am just leaving.
Evelyn: But where?
Bateman: I have to return some videotapes.