Multiple Characters quotes

ATM: Feed me a stray cat.

Evelyn: Thousands of roses and lots of chocolate truffles. Godiva, and oysters in the half-shell.
Bateman: [narrating] I'm trying to listen to the new Robert Palmer tape, but Evelyn, my supposed fianc?e, keeps buzzing in my ear.
Evelyn: Annie Leibovitz. We'll get Annie Leibovitz. And we'll have to get someone to videotape. Patrick, we should do it.
Bateman: Do what?
Evelyn: Get married. Have a wedding.
Bateman: No, I can't take the time off work.
Evelyn: Your father practically owns the company. You can do anything you like, silly.
Bateman: I don't want to talk about it.
Evelyn: Well, you hate that job anyway. Why don't you just quit? You don't have to work.
Bateman: Because I want...to fit...in.

Bateman: Is that the Ransom file? Thanks. Don't wear that outfit again.
Jean: Ummm...what? I didn't hear you.
Bateman: I said "Do not wear that outfit again." Wear a dress. A skirt or something.
Jean: You don't like this, I take it?
Bateman: Come on, you're prettier than that.
Jean: Thanks, Patrick.
[Phone rings]
Bateman: I'm not here. And high heels. I like high heels.

McDermott: If they have a great personality and they're not great looking... then who ****ing cares?
Bateman: Well, let's just say hypothetically ok? What if they have a great personality?
[pause, all laugh]
Bateman: I know, I know.
Bateman, McDermott, Van Patten: [in unison] There are no girls with good personalities.
Van Patten: A good personality consists of a chick with a little hard body, who will satisfy all sexual demands without being too slutty about things, and who essentially will keep her dumb ****ing mouth shut.
McDermott: The only girls with good personalities who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented, though God knows what the **** that means, are ugly chicks.
Van Patten: Absolutely.
McDermott: And this is because they have to make up for how ****ing unnattractive they are.

Bateman: Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
Van Patten: Ed Gein? Maitre d' at Canal Bar?
Bateman: No, serial killer, Wisconsin in the fifties.
McDermott: So what did Ed say?
Bateman: When I see a pretty girl walking down the street I think two things. One part of me wants to take her out and talk to her and be real nice and sweet and treat her right.
McDermott: And what did the other part think?
Bateman: What her head would look like on a stick.

Bateman: He was into that whole Yale thing.
Donald Kimball: Yale thing?
Bateman: Yeah, Yale thing.
Donald Kimball: What whole Yale thing?
Bateman: Well, he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.

Waiter: Would you like to hear today's specials?
Bateman: Not if you want to keep your spleen.

Courtney Rawlinson: Will you call me before Easter?
Bateman: Maybe.

Bateman: Come on, Bryce. There are a lot more important problems than Sri Lanka to worry about.
Bryce: Like what?
Bateman: Well, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.

Bryce: He makes himself out to be a harmless old codger, but inside... inside...
Bateman: [voice-over] ..."but inside" doesn't matter.
McDermott: "Inside," yes, "inside..." - believe it or not, Bryce, we're actually listening to you...
Bryce: Come on, Bateman, what do you think?
Bateman: Whatever.

Courtney Rawlinson: Listen Patrick, can we talk?
Bateman: You look... marvelous. There's nothing to say.

Courtney Rawlinson: Stop it, I'm...
Bateman: - on a lot of lithium?

Bryce: [after snorting cut cocaine] I want to get high off this, not sprinkle it on my ****ing Oaties.
Bateman: Definitely weak, but I have a feeling that if we do enough of it we'll be okay.
Club Patron: [leans over from another booth] Will you keep it down? I'm trying to do drugs!
Bryce: HEY, **** YOU!

Bateman: I don't think we should see each other any more.
Evelyn: Why? What's wrong?
Bateman: I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale. It cannot be corrected but I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
Evelyn: What about the past?
Bateman: We never really shared one.
Evelyn: You're inhuman.
Bateman: No... .I'm in touch with humanity.

Bateman: I don't think we should see each other.
Evelyn: But your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. I don't think it would work. You have a little something...
Bateman: I know that your friends are my friends and, uh... I thought about that. You can have'em.

[Just after breaking up]
Evelyn: Where are you going?
Bateman: I am just leaving.
Evelyn: But where?
Bateman: I have to return some videotapes.

Bateman: Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply Whitney Houston had 4 number one singles on it? Did you know that, Christie?
Elizabeth: [laughing] You actually listen to Whitney Houston? You own a Whitney Houston CD? More than one?
Bateman: It's hard to choose a favorite among so many great tracks, but "The Greatest Love of All" is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation, dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it's not too late to better ourselves. Since, Elizabeth, it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really. And it's beautifully stated on the album.

Van Patten: They don't have a good bathroom to do coke in.
McDermott: Are you sure that's Paul Allen over there?
Bryce: Yes. McDufus, I am.
McDermott: He's handling the Fisher account.
Bryce: Lucky bastard.
McDermott: Lucky Jew bastard.
Bateman: Oh, Jesus, McDermott, what does that have to do with anything?
McDermott: Listen. I've seen the bastard sitting in his office on the phone with CEOs, spinning a ****ing menorah. The bastard brought a Hanukkah bush into the office last December.
Bateman: You spin a dreidel, McDermott, not a menorah. You spin a dreidel.
McDermott: Oh, my God. Bateman, do you want me to fry you up some ****ing potato pancakes? Some latkes?
Bateman: No. Just cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks.
McDermott: Oh, I forgot. Bateman's dating someone from the ACLU.

Bateman: You like Huey Lewis and the News?
Paul Allen: They're OK.
Bateman: Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83,I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humour.
Paul Allen: Hey Halberstram.
Bateman: Yes, Allen?
Paul Allen: Why are there copies of the Style section all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something?
Bateman: No, Allen.
Paul Allen: Is that a rain coat?
Bateman: Yes it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself. [raises axe above head] Hey Paul!
[he bashes Allen in the head with the axe, and blood splatters over him]
Bateman: TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW YOU ****ING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, ****ING BASTARD!

Bateman: Ask me a question.
Daisy: What do you do?
Bateman: I'm into... well murders and executions mostly.
Daisy: Do you like it?
Bateman: It depends. Why?
Daisy: Because most guys I know who work with mergers and acquisitions really don't like it.

Jean: Are you dating anyone?
Bateman: Maybe. I don't know... Not really.

Bateman: Did you know that Ted Bundy's first dog was a collie named Lassie? [laughs]
Jean: Who's Ted Bundy?

Bateman: I'm on a diet.
Jean: What, you're kidding, right? You look great... so fit... and thin.
Bateman: Well, you can always be thinner... look better.
Jean: Then maybe we shouldn't go out to dinner. I wouldn't want you to lose your willpower.
Bateman: That's okay. I'm not very good at controlling it anyway.

Jean: What's that?
Bateman: Duct tape. I need it for... taping something.

Jean: Make someone happy. Have you ever wanted to?
Bateman: I'm looking for, uh... [puts nail gun to the back of Jean's head] I guess you could say I just want to have a meaningful relationship with someone special.

Bateman: I think if you stay, something bad will happen. I think I might hurt you. You don't want to get hurt, do you?
Jean: No. No, I guess not. I don't want to get bruised.

Bateman: Jean! I need help.
Jean: Patrick, is that you?
Bateman: Jean, I'm not...
Jean: Craig McDermott called. He wants to meet you, David Van Patten, and Tim Bryce at Harry's for drinks.
Bateman: Oh, my God... you dumb bitch.
Jean: Patrick! I can't hear you!
Bateman: [Laughs] What am I doing!? Ha!
Jean: Where are you, Patrick? What's wrong?
Bateman: I don't think I'm going to make it, Jean ... to the, uh ... office this afternoon.
Jean: Why?
Bateman: Just say no!
Jean: What is it, Patrick? Are you all right?
Bateman: Stop sounding so ****ing... sad. Jesus.

Bateman: I hope I'm not being cross-examined.
Donald Kimball: Do you feel that way?
Bateman: No, not really.

(As Bateman is loading a recent murder victim into the trunk of a taxi, a co-worker spots him) Luis: Patrick? Patrick, is that you?
Bateman: No, Luis, it's not me. You're mistaken.

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