Bob Falfa: [to Laurie] You ain't said one word all night long. What a weird broad. But you'll appreciate me soon. You're gonna be hangin' on for mercy when I get this sucker rollin'.

Jeff Pazzuto: [to John] There's a very wicked '55 Chevy lookin' for you.

Teenager: [to Terry] Is that you in that beautiful car? Geez, what a waste of machinery.

Bob Falfa: Hey man, I'm sorry if I scared ya!
John: You're gonna hafta do one hell of a lot more than that to scare me!
Bob Falfa: Hey I've been lookin' all over for ya man. Didn't nobody tell ya I was lookin' for ya?...Hey, you're supposed to be the fastest thing in the Valley, man, but that can't be your car. It must be your mama's car. I'm sorta embarrassed to be this close to ya.
John: I'm not surprised, drivin' a Field Car.
Bob Falfa: Field Car? What's a Field Car?
John: A Field Car runs through the fields, drops cow shit all over the place to make the lettuce grow.
Bob Falfa: [laughing] That's pretty good. Hey, I like the color of your car there, man. What's that supposed to be? Sorta a cross between Piss Yellow and Puke Green, ain't it?
John: Well, you call that a paint job but it's pretty ugly. I'll betcha you gotta sneak up on the pumps just to get a little air in your tires.
Bob Falfa: Well, at least I don't have to pull over to the side just to let a funeral go by, man.
John: Oh, funny... You know what?
Carol: Your car's uglier than I am! [She turns back to John] That didn't come out right.

Bob Falfa: Hey, you know a guy around here with a piss yellow deuce coupe, supposed to be hot stuff?
Terry: You mean John Milner?
[Falfa nods slowly]
Terry: Hey, nobody can beat him, man. He's got the fastest...
Bob Falfa: I ain't nobody, dork. Right?
Terry: Right.
Bob Falfa: Hey, you see this Milner, tell him I'm lookin' for him, huh? Tell him I aim to blow his ass right off the road.

Ants: Hey, man, who cut the cheese?
Joe: He who smelt it, dealt it.

Hey, I got a dedication here that's for a friend of the ol' Wolfman. And he wants me to play the next song for a blonde young lady in a Thunderbird. A white T-bird, you understand? Now my friend's name is Curt and he wants to talk to you out there, baby. So you meet him at Burger City, or you can phone Diamond 3132. Now he's a friend of mine, you hear, and little girl, you better call him, or the Wolfman gonna get ya.

Carol: You're a regular J.D.
John: File that under uh, C.S. over there.
[hands her the ticket just issued him]
Carol: C.S.? What's that stand for?
John: Chicken shit - that's what it is.
Carol: Oh.
[puts the ticket in the glove compartment which is full of similar tickets]

Peggy: [to Laurie] You'll forget him in a week. After you're elected senior queen, you'll have so many boys after your bod.

Wendy: Same old Curt. All the time we were going together, you never knew what you were doing.

Carlos: He's my man. When I graduate, I'm gonna be a Wolfman. Hey, you know he broadcasts out of Mexico someplace?
Joe: No he don't. I seen the station right outside of town.
[The roar of Bob Falfa's black '55 Chevy drowns out their conversation.]
Joe: Check out the snatch he's got with him.
Curt: Wimps get all the snatch.
Carlos: Milner ain't gonna beat that. His time has come. He's gettin' old. He ain't as fast as he used to be.

Carol: Wow! He's really fast, isn't he?
John: Yeah, but he's stupid.

Listen, you got any more of those secret agent spy-scopes?... the secret agent spy-scope, man. That pulls in the moon, the sky and the planets... and the satellites and the little bitty space men?

Bob Falfa: [as Laurie gets in his car] Hey, hey, hey, baby. What do you say?
Laurie: Don't say anything and we'll get along just fine.

I ain't goin' off to some god-damned fancy college. I'm stayin' right here. Havin' fun as usual