The Addams Family

The Addams Family quotes

33 total quotes (ID: 20)


Uncle Fester: Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone before?
Wednesday: He's only a child.
Uncle Fester: That's no excuse. Aim for a major artery. The jugular.

Wednesday: Please pass the salt.
Morticia: And what do we say?
Wednesday: NOW.

[A golf ball crashes through Judge Womack's window.]
Judge: Damn you, Addams!
Gomez: Sorry about the window, Judge. Keep the ball, I have a whole bucket full.
Judge: You moron!

[Gomez and Fester are watching home movies.]
Gomez: You remember that fateful night?
Uncle Fester: Um... Your first cigar!
Gomez: What? Come on, old man, I've smoked since I was 5. Mother insisted.

[Morticia and Grandma examine a rare and valuable heirloom Morticia is about to donate to charity.]
Grandma: Let's keep it!
Morticia: Hush, mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.

[Watching Pugsley sleep.]
Morticia: He looks so sweet. Looks just like a little entree.

[Wednesday is hooking up an electric chair.]
Wednesday: Pugsley, sit in the chair.
Pugsley: Why?
Wednesday: Because we're going to play a game.
Pugsley: What game?
Wednesday: [strapping him in] It's called, "Is There a God?"

And our credo, "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc" — "We gladly feast on those who would subdue us". Not just pretty words.

Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.

Gomez, last night — you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. [pause] Do it again!

I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.

That's the spirit, Thing! Lend a hand!

They say she danced naked in the town square, and enslaved a minister! But don't worry. We told Wednesday, "college first."

They say that a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a client. And with God as my witness, I am that fool!

Thing, you're a handful.