Craig: So hey, let me ask you something. How long have we been friends?
Steve: All seven years of high-school.
Doug: Yeah, at least.
Craig: That's why I gotta be real with you right now. As a professional trainer, guys, I'm a little worried about your triceps. i mean you guys are going all the week out and it's called full extention. And i'm not seeing it.
Doug: Craig, you're right. We actually had a long talk about that the other night.
Steve: Looong taaalk.
Craig: I just don't want you guys to cheat on yourselves. And i'm sorry to come down here like this but ... pfff ... in a weird way it's my job.
Steve: Hey, that's why we love you and we hate you.
Craig: So, still friends?
Doug and Steve: You know it!
Craig: I'm glad we had this talk.

You know what i heard when i first met you? - No. - Beeew, Beeew, Beeew, Beeew. - What are you doing? - That's an ambulance, come and take me away, 'cos the sight of you stopped my heart.

Doug: Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Cambi: What?
Doug: 'Cause I can see myself in your pants!

Doug: You can take our phones and you can take our keys, but you cannot take away our dreams.
Steve: Yeah, because we're, like, sleeping when we have them.

Doug: So anyways, I was standing there waiting to use the pay phone.
Steve: Yeah, he was, seriously.
Doug: And this guy who was on the phone, turns around and tips his hat like this.
Steve: And who do you think that guy was?
Doug: Emilio Estevez.
Steve: The Mighty Duck man, I swear to God, I was there.
Doug: Of course you were, you were the one who yelled the Breakfast Clubber's name.
Steve: I was like, "Emilio."

Doug: Why go out for burgers when you have steak at home?
Steve: You're right, we should go out for lunch after this.

Kamehl Butabi: Richard Grieco, you see right through me.

Cambi: Can you believe we actually had sex with these asswads?

(trying to act intelligent in front of his "girlfriend"): "Like... we see a picture of this young lady. But to the lady, are we just a picture of us? Did you ever think about that?"

(making a toast) Ok, i just wanna say What's up? Grandma, grandpa... and ... to the other two old people...What's up? ... yeah, you two.

Bouncer: Nobody gets in unless they talk to the list.
Doug: We're on the list.
Bouncer: Name?
Steve: Steve and Doug Butabi.
Bouncer: You're brothers?
Doug: No...?
Steve: YES.
Doug: Man, works every time.
Bouncer: That's very funny.
Steve: Yea, Doug's hilarious.

Doug: [outside The Roxbury] So... you want to dance?
Girl: We're not in the club yet.
Doug: Right.

Are you seeing planes? Is your name Tattoo? Because swear to God, you're living on Fantasy Island. - man, that was a sweet show - Yeah, it was a sweet show.

Mr. Zadir: Did you grab my ass? (pause) Do you want to?

Kamehl Butabi: What I do understand is that you're going to a big new hot club tonight. Is that what it is?
Doug: That's right.
Steve: Exactly.
Kamehl Butabi: What I don't understand is how you're gonna get there. [Kamehl takes their car keys]
Doug, Steve: What are you doing? God. Man.