Beavis and Butthead Do America quotes

View Quote Butt-head: This is gonna be cool. We're gonna get paid to score.
Beavis: Yeah. Then we're gonna get a big-screen TV, with two remotes.
Butt-head: Beavis, this is the greatest day of our lives.

View Quote Ranger at Old Faithful: There are over 200 active geysers in Yellowstone Park. Old Faithful here is one of the largest. During an eruption, the geyser can reach as high as 200 feet.
Butt-head: So?
Ranger at Old Faithful: The - the geyser shoots out over 12,000 gallons in a single eruption.
Beavis: That's not that much, really.
Butt-head: Yeah, really. Let's get out of here. Uh-huh-huh-huh.

View Quote [checking out Chelsea Clinton]
Butt-head: Hey, baby. I noticed you have braces. I have braces too.

View Quote Butt-head: Uh, do you know where Washington is?
Petrified Forest Recording: [Pointing to the desert] Uh, yeah. About two thousand miles that way.
Beavis: Thanks.
Agent Flemming: Didn't see which way they went. Didn't see their vehicle. I don't suppose you tried to stop them.
Park Ranger: The most dangerous guys in America? No, thank you. I make $9.00 an hour.
Agent Flemming: National Security is the responsibility of every American. Bork...
Agent Bork: Cavity search?
Agent Flemming: Deep and hard.
Agent Bork: Agent Hurly.
Agent Flemming: They're not gonna get away this time. I want roadblocks every road out of here for 200 miles.

View Quote Man: Where the hell is he?
Earl Hofert: You sure this is the right place? Your Muddy?
Muddy Grimes: What are you, the cops?
Earl Hofert: Uh, no. Earl sent us. You know, to take care of your wife.
Muddy Grimes: What? Take care... What the hell are you talkin' about? Who were those other two clowns?
Earl Hofert: Huh?
Muddy Grimes: Aghh... god damn it! She did it to me again! I'm gonna go to Vegas, and I'm gonna kill all three of them!
Earl Hofert: Hey, I noticed your TV was broken. You want to buy a new one? Just leave it. Worthless piece of crap.
Man: Yeah, really, man. We gotta start stealin' from rich people.

View Quote Muddy: Now, you listen to me, and this is real important. My wife's got this leather satchel. It's a black bag about this big. I need you to bring it back, boys. Sentimental value, you know what I mean? Any questions so far?
Butt-head: Uh, does she have big hooters?
Muddy Grimmes: Heh heh. Yeah, she sure does. Ha ha...
Butt-head: This is gonna be cool.
Beavis: Y-Y-Yeah. Boi-oi-oi-oing.
Muddy Grimmes: Heh heh heh... Hey, you guys are funny. Let's have a drink on it, eh? Now, don't let me down.

View Quote Butt-head: Whoa, cool. Hey, can I have a gun, too?

View Quote Butt-head: It's like it's coming out of its ass, but then it's, like, also coming out of the ass of the ass.
Beavis: It's like the poop's coming out of the ass of the ass. Yeah.

View Quote Tom Anderson: What in the hell is that damn noise? [goes inside his camper and sees Beavis] What?
Beavis: Hey, how's it going?
Tom Anderson: Pull your damn pants up, boy! I don't want to see that. Damn it, get out of here!
Tom Anderson: [throws Beavis out of camper] And if I ever catch you whacking in here again, I'm gonna hogtie you.

View Quote President Clinton: Beavis and Butt-head, on behalf of your fellow Americans I extend my deepest thanks. You exemplify a fine new crop of young Americans who will grow into the leaders of this great country.
Butt-head: Huh huh huh huh. He said, "extend."
Beavis: Oh, yeah.

View Quote Butt-head: [eight M-16 assault rifles are pointed at him] This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.

View Quote Butt-head: This is gonna be cool. We're gonna get paid to score.
Beavis: Yeah. Then we're gonna get a big-screen TV, with two remotes.
Butt-head: Beavis, this is the greatest day of our lives.

View Quote Tom Anderson: Take your damn pants with you!
Agent Flemming: Hold your fire.
Tom Anderson: What the hell!
Agent Bork: The pants! He's got the unit!
Agent Flemming: Drop the pants, now!
Tom Anderson: Now wait a minute. I ain't the one...
Butt-Head: Here you go.
Tom Anderson: Now wait just a minute, mister!
ATF Agent: Sir take a look at this.
Agent Bork: How do you explain this?
Tom Anderson: What the hell are you talking about?
Agent Flemming: So, using two innocent teenagers as pawns in your sick game, huh?
Tom Anderson: Look, I already told you I don't know what the hell this is about.
Agent Flemming: Take him away.
Tom Anderson: Hey! Get your damn hands off me! Goddamnit hey damn it You don't know who you're dealing I'm a veteran of two foreign wars! I ain't the one been...
Beavis: I always thought there was something wrong with him.
Butt-Head: Yeah he had a lot of problems.
Beavis: He used to hit me, too.
Butt-Head: Hey, does anyone want to see my unit?

View Quote Butt-head's Dad: Hey, one of you bas**** got a match?
Butt-head: Uh, yeah. My butt and your, uh, butt. Uh huh huh.

View Quote [in the trunk of Muddy's car, Butt-head finds a tire jack and begins pumping the handle]
Butt-head: Hey, Beavis, check it out. I'm jacking off.